Hands Of Fate
by aerialla1
Summary: Summary: Set during Season 5 Angel with spoilers. Buffy has been desperately missing Spike. She had Dawn come to LA for business will Buffy and Spike's paths cross or is she destined to be as alone as she feels.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One Discoveries

Walking into Wolfram and Hart's opulent reception area and watching people scurry like ants after a crumb was something Spike had gotten used to, most of the people had grown accustomed to his popping in from out of nowhere. Some days being a spook had its perks; today had been one of them. Though most of the past few months had been hell, quite literally. He had a grip on it now but sometimes he still felt the hounds of hell trying to pull him in. When nothing on this earth could feel any worse than knowing that she was out there and he couldn't get to her. Her parting words to him had been everything to him, Spike wanted to believe that she meant them, that he had finally won her love along with her respect and trust. Now he might have a chance to find out if having this sotted soul, had been worth all the trouble. Hell, he had saved the world now all Spike wanted was the girl.

Stomping past Harmony's desk despite her protests he gathered up his energy and slammed open the bloody poof's office door. Angel looked up giving him a frown of one definitely pissed off Sire, like he was the one that had anything to be pissed about.

"I will call you back in a few minutes with all the details' Wesley, I have an unwanted intruder." Slamming down the phone Angel stood up glaring at his childe.

"Well, what is it that you want now, more excuses just bitch at me about how, boo-hoo you saved the world and now all you can do is to scare women in the bathroom." Angel stood toe to toe with his childe looking down on his radioactive head.

"Hey that was just the once, not like the chit had anything worth looking at anyway, besides it's not like I can control where I just happen to pop in at times. That's not why I'm here you sodded ass." Why was it that Angel always seemed to make him feel like explaining his actions?

"Then why are you? Today couldn't be the day that they finally dragged you off to hell. Just my luck."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What that you were getting sucked into hell today, sorry must have slipped my mind"

Angel's, patented evil smirk was the final straw, letting all of the rage over the past few months build. Spike, cocked his fist and let it fly, totally catching Angel off guard. He flew back and landed in a heap behind his desk, two steady streams of blood coming from his now broken nose and adding to a rapidly bruising eye.

Spike was standing over Angel half in the desk and half out fists cocked and ready to go again.

"Why didn't you tell me that she was coming back, that she was coming here?" Spike could barely contain his rage and vamped his face.

"Didn't think that it was any of your business, it's not like the two of you were friends or that you meant anything to her, as far as I can see you were just convenient? "

Damn bloody poof always had to look down on him as if he was nothing, it didn't matter to his Sire that Spike the Spook was the one that has just broken his damn nose. It didn't matter to him that Spike had learned to work with and around his present limitations and could help. Hell, it didn't even matter to Angel that Spike had literally fried saving the world along with all of the damned Scoobies. Poofter was just looking up at him now, not even bothering mopping up the blood streaming down his face, that intolerable smirk still shining through. Feeling into his rage again he picked Angel up by his jacket lapels and sends him flying this time into the glass sofa table which exploded in shards. Stalking toward the wanker he let his frustrated words come forth.

"You have no idea what she and I had, you left her, remember, blame yourself if she found someone else, she isn't yours any more Angelus, she never will be again. Angel went and fell in love with Cordelia but Buffy's not allowed to fall in love with anyone. You think I don't know the hours that you spend beside Cordelia's bedside talking to her, trying to get her to wake up, telling her that you love her. What do you think will happen if she ever regains consciousness that she's just going to let you fawn all over Buffy? You can't have them both, Angelus, Buffy's mine, try not forget it this time."

Spike slammed his booted foot into Angel's ribs hearing the satisfied crackle and crunch of bones breaking. Man Spike hoped he punctured a lung and from the wheezing that Angel was doing right now looked like he had done exactly that.

Angel got to his feel coughing up blood, which he spat on the floor. Maintenance was going to have a mess with this one.

"What kind of life do you think she could have with you? You may have a soul now Spike has much as I hate to even think of that, but one you don't even have a body, you think she could have that much of a life with you Casper." To prove his point Angel stuck his hand in Spike's chest where his heart should be and pulled out air. "Why don't you, do like a good ghost and follow the light, I'm going upstairs?" Wheezing all the way to his private elevator, he stepped inside and heard Spike's tormented and whispered words.

"Buffy is my light, she's the only thing that keeps the darkness away.'

Angel finally knew how Spike really felt because Buffy and once also been his light in the darkness of hell, and he knew that it was finally time to let go of not only his childe, but also the woman he had once and probably would always love.

Standing amidst the shattered glass it was all Spike could do not to sob. He hadn't felt this powerless since Buffy had died saving them from Glory. The same feeling overcame him when he thought of living his unlife not being able to look into her face again or to run his fingers down her silken cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Unexpected Inheritance

Going home was not something that she thought that she would be doing so quickly, not when there is so much to do here, in England. She had to admit though it was the weather she missed most of all, the warm sunshine instead of all the drizzly gray days.

For many weeks she had continued to have nightmares of the first and they never failed to end with watching Spike explode into dust, those dreams hurt the most. She tried everything she could to put him out of her mind, often falling into sleep beyond exhausted just so she wouldn't have to think about him. He had died to save them all and for that he would always have her utmost respect. One thing that would be done when she went back was setting up the memorial for him, Anya, and the slayers that had died in battle. It was the least that they could do for the brave that had lost their lives. It would be just she and Dawn going, the rest staying behind to continue training the girls that seemed to arrive almost out of nowhere every day.

They with the counsel's help had finally managed to track down their wayward father, who unfortunately had died in a car accident a few days before the final confrontation. They had surprised them to find out that he had left Buffy and Dawn quite well endowed with an inheritance. If they would be going back to lay claim before his slut of a new wife could lay her hands on it. Seemed she had Wolfram and Hart as her law firm, what she didn't know about was Buffy's relationship with the head of the firm. She still had a niggling feeling that there was going to be some kind of showdown, and as always Buffy did not intend to come out the loser. Their father had abandoned them, his inheritance said that he had at least thought enough of them to provide for them.

Walking down the hall to her sister's room she found Dawn frantically throwing things in suitcases with no real rhyme or reason. Dawn, amazed her at the way she had changed, gone was the innocence of her teenage years, She continued to study and planned on joining the Council of Watcher's when her schooling was finished. There were not many outside the group who knew that ancient monks had made Dawn from a life form of energy that was powerful enough to destroy the world. To Buffy she would always be just Dawn, kid sister and often Brat. When she had heard that Spike had died saving them, it had been devastating. For Dawn, Spike had been brother, uncle and father figure all rolled into one. She kept a photo of the two of them beside her bed and never failed to cry whenever she looked at it. More often than not Buffy would find the picture face down, her sister's tears streaking the glass front.

Buffy ached for her sister and the people that both of them had lost, they were the last two of the Summer's line. Dawn would be the one who would continue the gene line for both of them, Buffy gave up that hope long ago. She had been on a couple of dates, since coming to England but neither had much of a spark so she had cut them off before they had even begun.

"What times does the plane leave again?" Dawn asked looking up at her sister, depositing the picture of her and Spike on the mountain of clothes, in the suitcase and zipping it shut.

"If we are going to make it to the airport in time we have to leave in a half an hour, but the plane doesn't leave for two." Buffy walked in taking one of her sister's bags and placing it in the hall with her own. "You do realize we're only going to be there for a few days a week at the most, there was no need for three full suitcases."

"Yeah, but I just want to make sure that I pack for any occasion that may arise. I mean come on Buffy we're going to LA, I want to look my best, and especially if slut bag wants to try something like takes dad's money away from us. The way you look and present yourself can decide in favor of us."

"If we have to wind up paying out more money for your extra cases, it's coming out of your pocket not mine." Buffy picked up her suitcase and carry on, and carried them down the long hall then down the stairs to the front door. A gracious council had provided them the use of a home in London, a lavish home if you asked Buffy. The damn place seemed right out of the eighteenth century, if it wouldn't be for the high security system Buffy would have thought they would have stepped into a time warp.

So much had happened in the months since the Hell mouth, the whole troop had stormed the Council and demanded change, not just in the treatment of the slayers, but in their complete training and lives. After not much of a fight with ten slayer teens, an ex watcher, a demon fighter and two master slayers forcing their vote. There was nothing that they could really do beside a step down and start the whole process of changing a system that they had used almost since the dawn on time. In the process making Giles head of the whole damn thing, with Buffy second in command. In the end Buffy had stated before everyone that she would be there to help train any new slayers. As of the moment she hoped off the back of the bus and faced a chasm that had once been her home, she had retired from slaying. There were others now, a lot of them to take over where she had left off. She would be there as mentor and teacher but her slaying days were over. Then she requested back payment not only for herself and Faith but the Scoobies as well, because without them the world would have ended long before now.

She waited and impatiently tapped her foot, glancing at the entrance clock wishing, Dawn would hurry up.

"Dawn come on, were going to be late." The knocking on the door had her opening it to a smiling Scooby gang.

Xander was smiling and seemingly happy, having gotten used now to having a glass eye to replace the one that Caleb had gouged out.

Willow was her bright and perky self having finally reigned in her power and for once without Kennedy at their side.

Faith was all black and scowling as usual but you could tell that there was a definite twinkle in her eyes now. It wasn't long after Buffy had made her speech that Faith had to, handing over her job as slayer as well. Robin came up behind her putting his arms around her and you got to see a rare moment, Faith's smile when she looked up at him and touched his cheek showing off the recently acquired engagement ring. It had taken Robin some doing in finally convincing Faith to marry him, he didn't by challenging her that she couldn't live a somewhat normal life, and you know Faith she can never turn down a challenge.

Giles just stood there, good old reliable Giles, her adopted father wiping the London mist from his glasses, looking at her with pride and a smile on his face.

Things have been so much easier since coming to London. Life was becoming very normal for an ex slayer, right now it didn't look like it could get any better, and it couldn't if she didn't think about Spike she was okay. It was at night alone in her room listening to the traffic and the sirens that she missed him the most. Missed her head laying against his cool chest and his arms around her stroking her hair and making the whole world just disappear except the two of them. She had tried that last time to tell him that she loved him, but by that time it had been too late, he didn't believe her.

Dammit, if she didn't stop, they would see and then they would be worried. She didn't want to take away from their happiness right now for anything in the world, so instead she turned her almost crying eyes away from her and hollered up the stairs.

"Dawn, get your butt in gear its time to go, not five more minutes now, or you're getting left behind."

That seemed to have the effect she wanted as Dawn threw a bag down the stairs almost taking out a table and a vase of flowers, before Dawn showed at the top of the stairs carrying her two lumbering bags.

"Can I get some help here?" She muffled trying not to lose her balance on the steps.

"You packed them, you carry them." Buffy said her arms folded across her chest and glaring at her sister. Knowing that this was going to be an interesting trip.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- L.A. or Bust

"So how much do you think dad left us Buffy?" Dawn's evident joy over the trip was beginning to give her a migraine.

"I don't know, all I know is that I don't want the woman he just happened to leave our mother for, get any of it, I don't care if its one measly red cent, it's rightfully ours." Every time Buffy thought about the situation, all it did was get her angry enough to punch the woman right in the nose.

"Dawn, could you try to relax, or something, we have a really long flight ahead of us and we're barely off the ground." If her sister didn't stop the insanity, she was going to get punched in the nose. It had been hard enough leaving the Scoobies behind, but at least this wasn't for a life or death situation and they would see each other within a week.

"Just another questions, where are we going to stay in LA, have you talked to Angel about it, maybe he would let us stay with him?" Dawn was taking a headset out of her bag and starting flipping through the magazines they had bought for the flight.

"I did and he offered. However, I didn't think that it would be a good idea, so while Angel has his apartment at Wolfram and Hart, we are going to stay at the Hyperion with Fred, Wesley, and Gunn." Buffy leaned her seat back, luckily courtesy of her now hefty salary with the council they were for the first time able to afford first class instead of coach.

"Dawnie, I'm going to try and catch up on some sleep okay." Blessing the dim lights in the cabin Buffy drifted immediately into a slumber. A few minutes later her sister would cover her with a blanket and wish her pleasant dreams that would come true.

Images screamed through her mind, images of her and Spike; their first meeting, working together to get rid of Angel, their magic induced engagement, her waking up chained and his emphatic declaration of love, when her mother got sick and died, the sight of him after Glory's punishment, his body falling from the tower as he tried to rescue Dawn, and the gentleness in his eyes as her held her hands and bandaged them after she had clawed her way from her grave, their first kiss, getting drunk together, their second kiss, their fight that led to an incredible night of making love while a house fell down around their ears, times at the Doublemeat, in his crypt, all the love they made that year and just how badly she had used him until she walked away trying to protect herself. Leading him into Anya's hurting arms, and the horrible scene of when he tried to rape her, they were all meshing in together. Along with finding him after he had regained his soul crazed and out of his mind, trying to get the old Spike back, her Spike, the one that she had longed for every night that he was gone.

She had blamed him a while with the whole rape scenario, but she had been at fault too and that was something it had taken her a long time to realize. If she tried really hard in her sleep, she could still feel his arms around her, protecting her with his very life and giving her everything of him. The last images of her dreams were always their final goodbye. Watching his soul shine in the pure sunlight had been wondrous, she had Known that she loved him when she awoke from his arms with the strength to see the battle through. She would never forget their hands bursting into flames as she touched him one last time. Feeling the very essence of his being, his souls engulfing her in its light and love nor the frightened yet full of love, look in his eyes. Though she had never witnessed it, she always awoke crying for him as his body shattered into minuscule pieces of dust around her.

Awaking with a sob in her throat and tears rolling down her cheeks, Buffy got up silently as too not disturb Dawn, and made her way into the bathroom. She had never told anyone about her dreams or that she had loved Spike with her very soul and always would. His memory was the very thing that got her up each morning and sent her to bed exhausted at night.

Splashing water on her face she tried to compose herself it wouldn't do Dawn any good to see her wrung out, she had hidden it from her for so long. It wasn't getting any easier as the days went by, especially how she always seemed to bring Spike into the subject wherever they went.

There were times like now that she didn't know what she would give to see him alive again, to have his arms around her and the feeling of his cool hands on her skin. Hell she'd even like to have his snarkyness back if it meant that they could be together.

Walking back to her seat she got a soda from the attendant and sat down to read a magazine until she felt she could go to sleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Finally Letting Go

When Angel awoke that evening after what had turned out to be a long and stressful day it was to see a pacing Spike in front of the windowed city scape. His childe was definitely antsy and he knew the feeling, he had felt the same way when he knew Connor was about to enter the world. He knew that sooner or later he was going to have to tell Spike the words that left his gut wrenching and his demon wanting to snarl and rip things apart. He was going to have to tell Spike that for once he was right. It was time to put Buffy behind him, yes he had loved her more than life, and would still die to protect her just now it would be in the name of friendship and not love. Cordelia was his present and every time he thought of the days sitting bedside her, and praying to whatever god or Powers That Be would listen. That he would give up everything to have her look at him and just complain, about anything if she was Cordelia again. He missed her, her smile, her exuberance with life, her absolute continual snarkyness that drove a man insane. Not to mention the charge card bills for clothes, her heart, her friendship and most of all her love not only for him but also for Connor. The picture of her holding Connor for the first time was a memory he knew he would take to whatever afterlife awaited him, and it would be her name not Buffy's that died on his lips for the last time.

Damn, he was brooding this time and in front of Spike too. Wiping the stray tear that had formed in his eye from relishing in Cordy he faked a yawn and got out of bed, throwing on a robe then pouring a cup of blood from the bar opposite the bed.

"Spike."

"Angel." Spike stood before Angel trying to dare to ask Angel another time when Buffy was going to be coming to LA

"I'll go first, if you don't mind." It wasn't as if Angel really cared what Spike thought. He just knew that he was going to have to spit this out quick before he lost either his nerve or his childe made his demon rise in anger like he always had a way of doing.

"Sure." Spike stuck his hands in his duster pocket and leaned against the glass wall, hoping he wouldn't actually fall through the bloody thing, he didn't really feel like falling through mid air right now

"I thought a lot about what you said as you were kicking my ass, very progressive of you if I may say Casper." He loved the dig when he could make Spike's eyes glare at him. "I didn't tell you about Buffy coming because I knew that it would hurt you and make you angry. Maybe depressed enough to take that final leap into hell, we all know that it would be a lot easier on all of us if you would, but I digress. I wanted to hurt you for the ways that you have been with her that I can't and never will be able to."

"You mean like shagging her right and proper." Spike glared at his sire with his evil grin that he saved for just the right dig.  
Angel chose not to fall to the remark and kept going with his speech before he lost his temper but good.

"While neither one of us could share that with her again, you're a spook and I have this annoying tendency of going all shiny, happy people and ripping out people's lungs. Let's face it, neither one makes more good relationship material. Damn it what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry Spike I should have told you that she's coming and will be here by tomorrow. You'll welcome to her, not like you'll get far or anything. However, you can see her and I won't stop you, kind of hard with you walking through walls and all." Angel slammed his glass down and turned to look at an extremely stunned Spike, who for the first time in 100 plus years that he was speechless, which slowly turned into boastful glee.

"I knew that you would come to your senses and see that she is mine. Don't know what she would do with a bloody Ponce like you anyway, besides make you go insane all again, we really don't want you to try and kill the Scoobies yet again after all." Spike was almost comical.

Angel watched as Spike almost bounced off the walls and it was all he could do not to actually vomit the blood now in his system. He couldn't believe that he had actually done it, he had let Buffy go not for the first time but definitely for the last, it was almost too painful to even brood about. Turning around Angel starting stomping toward the bathroom looking forward to a scalding hot shower, when Spike stopped him, not but touch but lack of.

"Thank you, Liam, it means a great deal for me, it's the only nice thing you have ever done for me since you turned me. I know it's not much but thanks all the same." Spike in complete awe-inspiring sense of chivalry stuck out his ghostly hand toward Angel and for once in his whole existence, wether man, vamp or ghost was a man.

Stunned and not quite sure what to make of this Spike, Angel decided to accept the moment for what it was and took a hold of the misty hand and for a moment could actually feel the essence that was his childe and it blew him away with the knowledge that he had never truly known the man that stood in front of him now.

"We'll see what we can do about making you corporeal, I can't make any promises but Wolfram and Hart will be doing everything possible to bring you back. I need to see Cordelia." Angel turned to go back into the bathroom only to immediately turn back.

"Just make sure that you look after her well, she deserves a good life, one I hope you can offer her that I can't. Love her for both of us, William." Turning for the final time he went into the bathroom and to get ready to see the woman, he wished would look upon him again soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Homecoming

Changing flights for the final time in Houston, both girls tried to relax in their seats, nervous and on the edge both decided that trying to hold any type of conversation was right now not going to be well. It seemed that if they actually made LA before killing each other then the trip had at least been that successful. Buffy thumbed through a magazine where she had already read every article trying to get a grip on the nausea that roiled her stomach. Dawn, was engrossed in music blaring from her headphones.

She thought about what she would say to Angel once she saw him. The last time they had seen each other was while Giles got everything ready in London for their arrival. At the time Angel had been busy dealing with his own affairs and they hadn't really had anytime to talk which let her cookie dough analogy hanging between them. She knew she had led him on somewhat, that it would be he she turned to, when she was "done baking," that was now not true. Angel would always be a friend and only that even if he got to fulfill his Shansu and become human, she could never feel for him the way she felt for Spike. When everyone else had always left, Spike had stuck by her side. When he had left for Africa, she had been glad knowing that they didn't need to be near each other. He had come back, she felt everything but the anger that she should have been, she was glad that he was back, had been happy even. Dammit she was going to start thinking about everything again and then she would be in the bathroom throwing up. She would deal with Angel when and if they had a chance but she wouldn't think about it anymore, until the time came. Laying her head back she finally found some much needed sleep and didn't wake until they were getting ready to land in LA.

Walking outside in the balmy night air, she was surprised to see Angel waiting for them at the end of the concourse. Dawn who had never thought much of Angel dropped her bags with relief and started looking around for a luggage cart. Angel didn't pay her any attention, which was quite usual and went straight to Buffy, which was also usual. Spike had always been right about Angel at least in Dawn's eyes; he was a big dumb poof. She began watching with disgust as he made over her sister, asking about her flight and London, not to mention the council and Scoobies. To Angel she was just the dumb little sister to be ignored. But dammit it all to heck, he picked up her sister's bags and didn't even bother getting Dawn's and she was the one having trouble carry things, which yeah it was her own fault for packing too much. However, he could at least ask so that she could give him the satisfaction of telling him to go back to whichever hell he had crawled from. Finally finding a cart she hefted her bags on it and made her ahead of them and toward the luggage carousel finding her bags easily and putting them on top. Stupid cart was heavy with just the two but she was in no way going to look like she couldn't handle it though she wanted to scream with frustration when she could barely get the thing to budge. Thinking of Spike and how proud he would be of her for not asking the Poof's help Dawn pushed with all her might, finally getting the thing to move, she followed Buffy and Angel out to Angel's huge old convertible. Throwing her bags in the trunk with such force that the car actually shook she climbed in the back relishing in the fact that her sister was showing the "You're really pissing me off" face, Good. For added measure she added Peaches under her breath knowing that Buffy would hear, probably Angel too, know they would know where she stood.  
What was Dawn's deal? Yes, I know you don't like Angel, but this is only for a few days. It's not like I'm going to fall in love with him all again and completely forget you. Or that I'm going to forget Spike so yes I know what the Peaches comment was about, damn Spike and his influence on her sister. It came to her then that's what the anger was about; her sister didn't want her to be unfaithful to Spike's memory. She wished she could tell her sister that would never happen. That she would rather live out her life without him than trying to replace him, like that could ever happen anyway there was and would only ever be one Spike. Looking back at her sister smiled and mouthed, "I miss him too." Buffy hoped that would be at least a little comfort to her sister while they were in Angel's company.

Sitting in the front seat Buffy decided to relish in the convertible and the clear beautiful California night. Man she couldn't believe that she had actually missed palm trees of all things. She now lived in one of the most historical cities in the world yet this place of chaos and debauchery felt like home and probably always would. She smiled at Angel, who for once was not saying much of anything. He just glanced at her from time to time and smiled a sweet and somewhat sad smile.

"I've decided to stay at the Hyperion with you so that we can catch up on some things while you're here." He didn't know where that came from, that wasn't supposed to be part of the plan.

"Might not even go into the office, unless you have your meeting? How would you guys like to do some shopping while you're here, just consider me your chauffeur, course it would have to be at night? What do you think Dawn, want me to chauffeur you around shopping?" Now they would know that something was different, he knew he had never had the chance to get to know Dawn, Buffy and never-ending apocalypses had always taken all of the time. What was he trying to suck up for? He had told Spike that he could have Buffy but he just couldn't bring himself to hand her over to him. Maybe she would wind up leaving before she got the chance to see him. If he was really honest with himself that is why he had decided to stay at the Hyperion rather than his apartment. The less of a chance Buffy had of seeing Spike the better, he didn't know for whom but it had to be better.

"Nah., thanks for the offer but if I have to haul anything else back to London its going to be a hefty bank balance, besides Buffy would shoot me if I bought any more clothes." Still sitting with her arms folded across her chest she was actually in awe that Angel spoke to her, let alone remembered his name, stupid Ponce.

Buffy smiled, glad that they were at least being civil to one another. Something that Buffy had always known was the animosity between the two, once upon a time she would have thought it was because Angel was a vampire, but after seeing her sister with Spike she knew that wasn't the case. If she wouldn't have known Spike's feelings for her, she would have probably of dusted him for the relationship that he had with her sister.

Conversation was easier after that. Angel still tried to suck up to Dawn, Dawn still not giving an inch, and Buffy for the first time in a while was laughing at their antics. It wasn't long before they arrived at the Hyperion which was deserted due to the late hour. Angel showed them up to their rooms and even did help Dawn carry her many bags teasing her along the way. Leaving them at their doors he went to his old suite trying hard not to be here and miss Cordy, he knew that he would get no rest tonight for wanting her beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six - The Bluest Blues

After greetings and hugs all around the sisters were shown to their rooms, two suites that Angel had someone come in and completely redo for their guests, he even billed Wolfram and Hart for everything. The sumptuous bathrooms are what did both girls in. Leaving with smiles from each Angel said goodbye and said that he would be back in the morning about what time their meeting was with Wolfram and Hart's barracudas. Hopefully Spike wouldn't make himself known for a day or two, he didn't know how Buffy or Dawn would take to seeing ghostly Spike wondering around. He needed to get back to the office and see if Fred had made any headway with recorporealizing his wayward childe. For the sake of everyone it wouldn't be soon enough to get Spike out of his hair and his life, at least for a hundred years or so. Hopefully by that time he would have learned some respect for his elders. Though Angel had thought it quite funny when he had learned that it was his childe that had destroyed the Anointed one. He had actually felt pride that Spike had been his childe, though he would not even with immense torture let that slip to anyone. There were some things just better left unsaid, especially those things that would give Spike ideas about thinking he was tougher than his Sire.

The girls set about unpacking their bags, Dawn blasting her headphones with punk rock, and Buffy humming her own tune sitting down on the bed shaking when she realized what she had been humming. It was the song that Spike had sang to her when they were under the spell. Humming as much as she could remember she thought of him and instead of making her feel his loss, she for the first time felt at peace with him being gone. Maybe she needed to finally let him rest in peace, her head told her yes, but her heart just didn't want to believe that he was gone. Maybe his song was just one thing about him that she could treasure in her heart so that during the night she wouldn't feel so alone, and to definitely tune out her sister's awful music. Humming louder, she actually had a smile on her face as she unpacked, and she could feel the tension of the trip gradually leaving from her shoulders.

"You know sweetheart if you hum any louder you might actually have success in drowning out that God awful noise your sister is calling music"

Buffy jumped losing the clothes in her hands as her mouth formed and Oh. Realizing she was being rude she quickly closed her mouth and tried not too looked surprised at the tall green demon in a bright red suit that oddly matched his horns, leaning against her bedroom door.

"We haven't met yet sweetness, so let me introduce myself, I'm Lorne, resident seer and all around green guy. And let me tell you honey there are a lot of things happening and going to happen to you." Lorne beamed. He'd rushed out of the office when he heard Angel's former honey was in town. After hearing about Sunnydale's little musical escapade he wanted to hear this lovely creature's voice, surprising, it was an easier than he had hoped for. He had though he was going to have to pull teeth to get her to whistle a little Dixie. Her choice in music had left a little to be desired, he would have preferred some Aretha or at least a little Judy or Babs. Cause whatever this lady was singing it was bluer than the bluest blues he had ever leant and ear to.

"I've heard of you, but don't you have to get someone to sing before you can read them, how can you know what is going to happen for me when I haven't sang a note." Buffy had heard from Willow that this guy was unbelievable, but for the moment he seemed pretty hokey to her, not to mention blinding and just a little off putting.

"Doesn't have to be the Star Spangle Banner honey, any tune will do, just humming a few bars can do the trick and give me a peek, but don't tell Angel that? While he's not the greatest singer by any measure and has a weakness for Manilow that I will never understand there's something to seeing the big guy squirm? While the tongue may lie, the vocal cords never do and yours honey are full of more emotion than I think you even know how to handle. You've seen and done way too much for a girl your age should ever even have to imagine.

Coming into the room Lorne shut the bedroom door and sat almost regally down in a chair and motioned the opposite one to Buffy. He had heard a lot in her voice just by the humming, now hopefully he could probably get the full story from her pipes, if she cooperated, which he had a feeling she would. They may grumble and groan but eventually they all sang a few bars for him. He was glad when Buffy deposited her bundle of clothes on the bed and came to join him sitting hesitantly at the front of the chair.

Relax precious; you're wound tighter than Angel on a good day. Nothing's going to hurt you and I promise this will be just between you and me, just think of me as you psychic friend." Lorne was happy to get a smile out of the girl with that one.

"What did you see?" Buffy spoke hesitantly, hoping for the best and not yet another apocalypse that she was going to have to avert, she really wanted that part of her life done and over with. She tried to relax but all she seemed able to do was wring her hands and stare at her feet in anticipation.

"Well I saw a little bit with the song you were humming, but why don't you try to relax, take some deep breaths and sing the song for me. I think it is one song that I am going to have to hear to fully get my receptors going."  
Buffy relaxed as much as she could, taking deep breaths and willing frazzled nerves to calm down. It took her a few minutes and became easier when she closed her eyes and envisioned that night and Spike singing to her his feelings for her and the fact that she never would let him in. She hoped that whenever he was he would hear her singing his song and it would hopefully bring him some peace.

I died so many years ago, and you can make me feel like it isn't so  
Why you come to be with me I think I finally know  
You're scared, ashamed of what you feel  
And you can't tell the ones you love, you know they couldn't deal  
But whisper in a dead man's ear, that doesn't make it real  
That's great, but I don't wanna play  
Cause, being with you touches me more than I can say  
And since I'm only dead to you I'm saying stay away  
And let me rest in peace  
Let me rest in peace, let me get some sleepLet me take my love and bury it, in a hole six foot deep  
I can lay my body down, but I can't find my sweet release  
So let me rest in peace

She sang full force with as much emotion as she could bear, not realizing that tears were streaming down her face. Buffy sang so he would hear her, and know some how that she loved him, would die still loving him.

You know, you've got a willing slave  
And you just love to play the thought that you might misbehave  
And til' you do I'm telling you, stop visiting my grave  
And let me rest in peace  
I know I should go, but I follow you like a man possessed  
There's a traitor here beneath my breast  
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed  
If my heart could beat it would break my chest  
But I can see you're unimpressed  
So leave me be and let me rest in peace  
Let me get some sleep  
Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep  
I can lay my body down, but I can't find my sweet release  
So let me rest in peace  
Why won't you let me rest in peace?

Now that it was over, all the pent up emotion flooded the gates and Buffy started sobbing, hard body shaking tears. With her arms wrapped around herself she rocked back and forth and for the first time since his death she cried only for him, her best friend, her lover, and the man she knew she didn't want to live without. If she thought it would bring him back she would dive head first into hell and fight to bring him back to her, or she would die trying. She needed him, needed him to be snarky and tell her the truth when she didn't want to hear it, needed his arms around her, shutting out everything in the world but them, his tenderness, his strength, his heart. She's take Spike back whatever his form, chipped, soul or none, vampire or not. Buffy wanted Spike, the man, Nothing else mattered.  
Lorne stared not knowing what to do, for the first time in his life he was speechless, the love outpouring from this girl was encompassing him, along with such grief and despair that it threatened to overwhelm even him. Never had a vision been this powerful and for it to be about Spike had him completely floored. The vamp had mentioned being involved with the slayer, but no one had ever said anything to this degree. He could see them together, and he saw Spike's death through Buffy and it sent a punch straight to his gut. To tell her that he was still wondering around in ghost form would probably send her over the edge the poor thing. The Powers had messed up on this one, couldn't they have known what a force these two would be, that together they were unstoppable force. But knowing the Powers that's why the hands of fate and turned this way.

He did see them back together eventually, but he wasn't sure when or if it was even going to be in this lifetime for Buffy. Lorne had the strongest feeling that the Powers that had given him his sight were trying to block all of the images from coming through and that got him madder than a Pylean wart beast. There had to be ways to get these two crazy kids back together, because he didn't want to even think about the vision that would happen if they didn't. There was only so much this young lady was going to take. Before she just gave up, and then no one was going to be able to save her. Heaven and the Powers help them if Spike decided to take it upon himself to let her know that he was still around. It was bad enough that he kept getting sucked into oblivion, seeing her and not being able to be with her might just make him give up the fight, sinking for good. That would be a bad thing. Lorne had to get to Angel and fast, let him know what was going on, he didn't want to break the lady's confidences but it didn't look like he was going to have a choice in this one.

"So what did, you see, what apocalypse is it going to be this time." Buffy had finally gotten a grip on herself and was wiping her eyes childlike on the back of her shirt sleeve. Her eyes and chest hurt and right now the nightmares of sleep were actually looking like a welcome reprieve.

"No apocalypse honey, at least none I can see that involve you. I do sense the grief, does anyone else know how much you loved him, how much you miss him?" Lorne knew that she carried it all alone that not even her sister knew the depth of her feelings for Spike.  
"No, they knew I was with him once, and that I used him and he left. However, they don't know that I loved him that I still do, or that its hell to go through every day without him." Buffy couldn't believe she was opening up to this green demon like she had never done with her sister let alone any of her friends. There was something calming, comforting to her about it, Lorne kind of reminded her of Clem, except Lorne's being green and not having skin hanging off him in curtains, but they definitely had the same friendly air.

"Well, honey I know that you have one person who it would do a lot of good to hear the words you just said to me, because she's feeling a lot like you. The others are your friends, but to her Spike was her best friend and he treated her like a brother, she misses him just as much as you do. She's been more vocal because she hasn't the friends to look down on her, not that she would care. She loved him and always will and she's proud of that, not saying that you're not proud. However, it's time to let your friends know what makes you happy and that there's nothing they can say about it because its your life not theirs." Lorne put his hand over hers and gave her a friendly squeeze.

"Take the time while you are here to bond with Dawn, I think it will do you both some good. Share your stories of him in remembrance and love, it will help both of you heal, not only your hearts but also your relationship with each other as sisters. Dawn needs to know that she still has you and that's something she doesn't feel a whole lot, she's still trying to get over your death in some aspects. She is always afraid that she'll still lose you and not have anyone since Spike is gone too."

Buffy had no idea that her sister had been going through things; she always seemed so upbeat and ready for anything. Guess Dawn had learned from her how to put on a good act for everybody so that they didn't really see what was going on. Lorne was right this trip was not just about Dad dying. It was time for sisters to spend some quality bonding time together, and hey since in LA might as well go back to London with some hip fashions and hours spent at the mall and the beach. It looked like Dawn might actually get to use most of those clothes she had brought with her.

"I think you're right. I've been caught up so much in Spike's being gone, that I haven't taken a lot of Dawn's feelings into it. It's been hard with the nightmares and dreams that I never thought that maybe she was having some of her own. I knew they were close and its time for us to share our memories of him so that we don't have to hide anything from each other anymore. I can't do it alone anymore, and I don't want her to feel like she's going to be. I retired from being a slayer so that she would never have to lose me, its time to reinforce that for her. I plan on being around long enough to beat her with my cane and to chase her with my walker." Buffy was feeling better and was even able to crack a smile that lit her whole face.

"Well that's wonderful to hear. I'm going to skedaddle out of here and let you get some sleep that jet lag can be a bear and I know you're probably dying on using that wonderful Jacuzzi in your bathtub. Enjoy your stay in our lovely smog-filled city and I'll see you and your sister around later. Get some rest sweetie." Lorne patted her shoulder and left closing the door gently behind him.

Forgetting her unpacking for the moment Buffy decided to go see her sister and come up with some arrangements as far as activities for the next few days.

Looking into her sister's room after her knock didn't get and answer she found her sister's unpacking done and her sister asleep on the bed, her picture of Spike beside her on the night stand. Walking over to it she picked the frame up and really looked at it for the first time. It had been taken after Buffy had died and had probably been taken by Anya since she doubted anyone else would have taken a picture of the two together. They were both curled up on the sofa asleep, Dawn's head tucked into Spike's arm and her head on his chest. Someone had draped a blanket over them, probably Anya again. Knowing that the ex demon had been so thoughtful to her sister made Buffy pray that her friend was also at peace. It still amazed her that Anya had died saving Andrew; it just showed that no one really knew her at all. Who knew maybe she and Spike were together keeping each other company while also driving each other insane, just the thought, made Buffy smile and she placed the photo back in its place? She smoothed her sister's hair back from her head and kissed her on the cheek pulling the blanket up over her, knowing that she would die all over to protect her. With a heart lighter than it had been in months, if not years she made her way back to her room. Like her sister, curled up in bed and fell into a dreamless and extremely restful sleep, the first real one she had seen since being called at fifteen.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven - Permission Granted

Spike was fit to be tied and wondering the long corridors of Wolfram and Heart did nothing to alleviate the problem, it only made him more restless and eager for any information that he could get his hands on, not just about when Buffy was coming, but if anyone had run across anything that would make him corporeal again. Angel had come back a few hours ago from who knows where and had immediately locked himself in his office with strict orders he was not to be disturbed, then had one of the company witches put a spell on the door that even he couldn't get through. He hadn't known about that little addition until he had tried to follow the green guy into Angel's office not more than fifteen minutes ago and hit a barrier at the door, which Angel promptly slammed in his face. Dammit he wanted to know what they were talking about, if it wouldn't have been for that damned spook trying to drag him to hell he would have been whole by now and just able to barge in wherever and whenever he wanted. Bloody hell, he was turning just as broody as Peaches. He had to find a way to live again before it tore him in two. Maybe science girl had something as far as info she could give him, the little chit was sweet, never looking down her nose at him and was the only real one out of the group that was starting to treat him as if he was a decent enough bloke. Besides he wanted someone to talk to and she always seemed ready for a little tete a tete even if it was just to study him for the sake of science. If Buffy wouldn't have been the love of his unlife he could actually see himself falling for the girl.

Rounding the corner he heard Angel and Gunn's voice coming from another hallway, but luckily they were walking away from him instead of toward. He could actually do a little reconnaissance work if he stayed far enough away that they wouldn't see if. Being a spook today was looking up, and one of the perks he had tested was that with being all ghostly was that Angel couldn't sense him as he could before. Luckily his vamp hearing still worked just as well as ever, staying ten paces behind them he listened and waited for any information that would alleviate the ache in his heart.

"So how are the Slayer and her sister settling into the Hyperion?"

" Fine, but you would know this if you hadn't of moved out."

"Yeah, but it doesn't look good for the image if I'm leaving out of a run down hotel. We have to keep up appearances, and there's nothing wrong with my condo."

"I guess I just don't like the group spread out anymore, it makes me edgy. Everyone is more vulnerable and easily accessible and we still don't know why the senior partners have set us up, rather too well."  
"I get your point man, but having my own place for once is kind of nice, and so is the extra bonus for winning cases. I'm just trying to play the game let you suggested we all do when we first got here."

It seemed to Spike like there was a little upheaval in the ranks. Seems like the fellow was leaning more to the opposing side, and he had a feeling that Angel knew it too. Gunn was playing the so-called game just a little too well if you asked him, but exactly what game was he playing. A bloke could only play both sides for long before one or the other demanded the fealty that wasn't in the rules. Hearing that Buffy was in town and at the Hyperion though did make his heart race, at least it would of if it would have been whole.

Stopping and pondering the fact that if he wouldn't he could go and see her; he didn't notice Gunn and Angel picking up their paces. Angel had seen Spike out of the corner of his eye when he had rounded a corner earlier and had started the conversation leading Gunn without his knowledge into about the Hyperion and the girls being there. They wouldn't understand if they knew that he was going to help Spike, dammit he didn't even understand himself. For the present moment he was feeling kind of protective of the little bastard kind of like way back in the day. He hated the actions of his grandchilde and would gladly sometimes want a stake in his heart, but that didn't mean that he wanted anyone doing the staking besides him. If it came right down to it, he would even fight Buffy to save Spike's sorry ass, though the way things were looking right now, it was more likely that his grandchilde was going to get sucked into hell and there was nothing they could do about it, at least not yet. Fred had not been able to come up with anything since Spike had given up the one chance they had come up with. He hoped that Spike wouldn't be stupid enough though as to not take any care in approaching Buffy.

He had loved seeing her when she had gotten off the plane, it was her distance from him that had him chomping at the bit, she had always been able to open up to him before, but this Buffy was totally new to him, just as cookie dough analogy Buffy had been different. She was more mature, and harder, she smiled with her face but yet it never reached her eyes. All her eyes held were pain and sadness, something he had hoped to never again see in her eyes. The night she had sent him to hell he had lived with her eyes just like that for what in hell and been an eternity. He would work on recorporealizing his childe and that was all he could do. Bringing the light back in Buffy's eyes was up to Spike now, he just hoped that they would be happy for as long as they had together.

Spike had been standing in the same spot for a good ten minutes staring at the carpet when black wing tips came into view. Shit what did he want, wasn't it enough that he had gotten to spend time with Buffy, that he was alive, well not technically. He was waiting for it, the snide comments about how he couldn't be with her without scaring her off her gourd, couldn't see niblet for the same reasons.

"Well get it over with, I've got people to scare you know." Spike raised his head to look defiantly into his grandsire's eyes.

"Spike you couldn't scare anyone least of all the people around here, they run because you're depressing not frightening. And get what over with precisely, you make it sound like I have nothing better to do that to give you the time of day, well think again Clorox."

Just being near him made Angel want to tear Spike's heart out with his bear hands, why did the man have such a way as to making him pissed, if he wasn't so pathetic and solid matter he would probably try to do just that.

"I'm not here to fight with you. She's there if you want to see her, I won't stop you. Take heed though boy, you hurt her more than what she is, and I will make hell look like a paradise body or not." Turning on his heel he strode away to the elevator and back to his office and for a stiff drink. Trying hard not to think of the amazement and joy that had crept into Spike's eyes before the somewhat vamp and turned and fled running faster than he had ever before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter Eight- Empty Arms**

The dreams were upon her again, but this time they were different. She could feel Spike with her as if he was holding her. It was the same feeling she had when she had felt his soul. It was as if he was touching her, stroking her hair and cheek, whispering his words of love in her ear, telling her to be strong that he wouldn't let her give up now after all they had worked for. When she felt him bend down and softly kiss her brow she opened her sleep filled eyes and he was there beside her. Hope and joy filled her overtaking her mind of rational thought and she sat up in bed ready to fling herself in his arms and make him promise to never leave her again, unless they were both going together.

No one was there. Looking all around the room she saw nothing. Buffy's heart clenched with just as much pain as it had with joy, it had just been a dream. But how, when her gut was telling her that Spike had been there, she was as sure of his presence as she was of her own heart pounding in her chest. Twin tears slid down her cheeks as she looked out into the room moonlight making her glow in the darkness. Hoping with everything that she still had inside she spoke to the quiet room, for the first time in what seemed like forever, praying to whatever Powers looked upon her and had dealt her such a cruel hand in life.

"Please, bring him back to me, I need him, he's my best friend. It's so hard without him, even worse than when mom died. I don't know how much longer I can hang on without him?" Pulling her knees up to her chest she cried praying that he would come back for her, she was so alone, she was tired of being alone. She wanted to be strong for him, but she just didn't have the fight in her anymore, it left when he died, there was nothing left to fight for anymore.

Spike watched her hidden in a corner of the room so as she would not see him. He watched her and his heart broke, he would give anything to be able to go to her and comfort her. Yet, his heart also overran with jubilation, she did love him, she had been telling the truth and he hadn't believed. Cursing himself for being such a dumbass he watched her and longed to be next to her again, but he couldn't risk it, he couldn't hurt her again. What surprised him was that she had sensed him; she knew he had been there.

There was a definite change in this Buffy he could sense it, she wasn't the same anymore and the way she was rocking and crying he would bet his duster that she was on a very slippery edge. Dammit to hell, was he the spook the only one that could sense that the Slayer was getting close to losing it, there had to be a way to get help? He couldn't sit back and watched as she did this to herself. He had to get help and if it meant having to ask Angel's crew then he would do it, coming here tonight had definitely not been one of his smartest moves and he ached to hold the woman that had curled up and fallen asleep tears drying on her skin and pain pounding in her heart. There had to be a way of getting it so that she wasn't alone for too long a period at a time. He watched and waited as her breathing became sleep induced and knew that she was finally in a deep enough sleep that he could back out through the room without her sensing him, he had to get help and he had to get it know, damn his sorry assed pride, because he had figured out long ago that whenever it came to Buffy there was nothing he would not do for her, if it meant spending the rest of eternity in hell and knowing that she was okay then he would do it, but he was damned no pun intended if he was going to sit back and watch her wither away if not killing herself before someone in this live version of hell caught on.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- As She Sleeps

She Walks In Beauty: George Gordon, Lord Byron

While Buffy slept, Spike decided to look in on Dawn. He never would have thought that he would have missed his niblet this much. After Buffy she was his best friend, she had helped him cling to his tattered shreds of his mind and humanity after Buffy had died. There had been many a night after that Dawn had poured him into bed after he had drowned his sorrows in a bottle or two. Spike hated the fact that he had deserted her when he went off to Africa, but he couldn't stay around for her after what had happened with Buffy, it wouldn't have been fair for her. He had been totally unprepared for the almost woman that had greeted him when he had returned.  
Looking in on her now was so bittersweet, what did he need sunlight for when he had Summer wrapped up in two beautiful girls. The sun shining off of them was all he would ever need or could ever hope to gain. The moon light glinted off the silver cross he had given her for her sixteenth birthday engraved with the words of a poem he had stated reminded him of her and of Buffy.

She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellow'd to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impair'd the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express  
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent!

He had never even told the chit that the bloke that wrote it was the elder of the cousins and who had gotten the title from their great uncle "the wicked lord" as everyone had called him. He had never told anyone that he had looked up so much to his reckless cousin who had seemed to turn the damn town on its ear and had followed in his footsteps to Cambridge and into poetry. He had always butchered his prose, the damnable thing was that George had always tell him to keep trying, the bloody ponce.

Now looking down on his sleeping girl he was happy to see her wearing his gift and it made him feel good to know that he still in some small way protected her, even as it protected her from even him. Sitting himself as much as possible in her bedside chair he sat and watched her sleep wishing he could do the same with Buffy. At least Dawn hadn't sensed him like Buffy did, Spike didn't think he could handle Dawn's tears as well. He would find a way for them to be together again, all of them, besides Peaches, they were his only family and it wanted than back, not like it was of course, but something new.

When morning light broke through the drapery Spike eased out of the room, not witnessing Dawn losing her grip on the picture that she had been clutching under the covers.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10- Breakfast Of Champions

Two days went by with the sisters preparing for their day in court. A generous feeling Buffy indulged her sister with a full day for both of them at an exclusive spa and then a shopping spree that left each of them with another bag to lug home. Dawn saw Buffy truly happy and laughing for the first time since the first came along and was overjoyed to see the change in her sister. She was so overjoyed that she failed to notice each night that her sister went to bed sooner and slept later in hopes of Spike returning to her.

Buffy gave her sister what she wanted to see and that was a happy Buffy, when there was anything further from the truth and that was every night she lost just a little more of herself. Every night she went to sleep knowing the only way she could be with him was in her dreams, dreams where they were together, where he would hold her and make all the pain go away, where they would laugh and talk hold each other and make love. Her dreams were the only place where she did not feel alone anymore, they had become her safe haven, they made her feel like she was back in Heaven, but this time with Spike by her side.

"Where's Buffy, the meeting starts soon and I want to go over some things with her before we go in." Gunn was leaning against the kitchen counter briefcase open beside him and a cup of extra strong coffee in his hands.

"I don't know, I haven't seen her yet this morning? Is she in the shower?" Fred was sitting at the table eating a jelly doughnut and trying very hard not to get its fine powder all over her, without much luck.

"I think I heard her in her room when I came downstairs, but I didn't stop." Angel was at the stove cooking breakfast for Buffy and Dawn, he had awoken early and decided that he would fix them a good luck breakfast before they had their meeting with their father's and his wife's attorneys. It wasn't actually like they would need the luck, not with Gunn representing them. Angel was still amazed at how the man had changed since he had been given the knowledge of the law uploaded into his brain. On rare occasions he still saw some of the street kid he had come to think of as a brother as well as a friend.

"Dawn, sweetness could you go up and haul you're sister's fanny down here, I think she would agree that we should all go together to provide a united front." Lorne dressed to the nines was sitting in his usual regal style with a copy of Variety in front of him and sipping a smoothing that for some really gross reason matched not only the color of his skin but also the blue suit he was wearing.  
Buffy meanwhile tossed and turned knowing full well that she had to get up that she had the meeting to go to, but she didn't want to tear herself away from Spike's arms. It was so comfortable and she felt so good. Right now they were lying on a blanket of soft green grass, warm air blowing over them and gazing up at the stars trying to count them all. It wasn't until she was forcibly shaken that she attempted to open her eyes, her heart fell when she looked into those of her sister who had a concerned look on her face.

"What's wrong Dawnie, I must have over slept." Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she stretched her muscles and looked at her sister who still wore the look of concern.

"Buffy, I've been trying to wake you up for almost fifteen minutes, it wasn't until I got rough that I even got a response from you. You know we have the meeting today, why aren't you up, dressed and ready to go?"

"We have time Dawn, besides it never takes me as long to get ready  
as it does you. I be down in fifteen minutes and that's with taking a shower." Buffy flung her legs over the bed and went about getting her clothes ready. Choosing a feminine yet business like dress in light airy fabric that while perfect for the California weather she knew she would never be able to wear in London, not even in the middle of summer.

"I'll be downstairs waiting for you then I guess, hurry up though Angels making breakfast and you don't want it to be cold by the time you get down." Dawn hurried downstairs still worried about her sister and her bizarre behavior.

Buffy was the one always up before everyone else. It was not like her to really sleep in, especially oversleep, even when she was slaying. She had been so happy lately; maybe she was just getting a cold. Whenever Dawn even got the sign of the sniffles all she wanted to do was stay in bed until they went away, yeah that was it, Buffy was getting a cold, and see nothing to worry about at all. With those parting thoughts Dawn almost flounced down the stairs, ready to see how much money their father had actually left them.

"So Dawn, where is Buffy?" Angel asked wiping his hands on a towel when Dawn entered the kitchen.

"She said she'll be down in fifteen minutes, she was still asleep when I went up there. I think she's getting a cold." Everyone seemed to accept that answer as fact and they all went about finishing their breakfast.

Buffy was indeed downstairs in the fifteen minutes that she said she would be. She sat down at the kitchen table and immediately a fresh plate of eggs, bacon and toast was slid in front of her. She looked up smiling at Angel and thanked him. He poured her a glass of juice and himself a cup of blood and sat down as she ate.

Angel had to admit that Spike was one lucky SOB; Buffy was as beautiful as she had been at sixteen. Though he had always wondered what she would have looked like with her natural color hair after choosing to keep it blonde all these years. Right now she looked like a typical California girl, but he bet she would be exotic and ravishing with dark hair flowing around her. Maybe he could always lay some hints that she would look just as well dark as she did light. Was definitely something to think about, maybe he would have to put a sketch to paper so he could show her?

He had been staring so hard at Buffy that he hadn't noticed everyone stop what they were doing to stare back at him, Buffy included.

"Angel, man are you here with us, or taking a trip on the USS Enterprise?" Gunn was looking at Angel liked he had just grown a set of horns. Which made an unusually uncomfortable Angel squirm and then get out of his seat and start the morning's dishes.

"Nothing, just thinking about what we can do about our resident ghost problem."

"Angel we don't have a ghost here, just S…." Fred said before promptly shutting her mouth, and trying not to look at Buffy.

"Way to go Fred, open mouth insert proverbial foot." Fred thought to herself and stood up hoping to make a quick exit from the kitchen before she stuck herself in it yet again.

Lorne taking up Angel's lead to see if either Dawn or Buffy had seen Spike put his two cents in.

"So have you girls seen anything that looks like Casper floating around, kind of has a habit of being there one minute and not there the next?" He could tell by the shake of their heads the answer was no.

"Well you might want to be on the look out for this Spook, he's kind of gotten himself attached to Angel, now just follows him around from place to place, and has been seen both here at the Hyperion and at Wolfram and Hart." Gunn finished his four cup of Joe and plopped it into the sink, promptly splashing Angel who sent him a dirty look.  
Finishing the dishes and turned around and leaned against the cabinetry folding his arms crossed his chest and waiting to see what his next comments reactions would be.

"Yeah, damn thing keeps popping up at the most inopportune time, reminds me of a lot like Spike. Always being exactly right where you don't want him to be, usually within five miles. And then talking your ear off until you're sure they're bleeding, making you wish you were death just so you wouldn't have to listen to his constant yammering. Never to mind the either sob stories or the ones that make no sense letting you know that there are definitely no bulbs burning brightly in his head, more like this ghost, dead air with the wattage of a night light." Angel was doing it on purpose, belittling Spike to see what kind of reaction he would get out of Buffy. He hadn't expected Dawn's reaction.

Dawn pushed back her chair so hard and fast that slid against the floor before banging into the wall.

"You don't know a damn thing about Spike. He was kind and gentle, fight to the death to protect someone he cared about, damn near killed himself trying to protect me several times. His stories are what made me become a Watcher. Not only did he protect me, but he and will always be my best friend. Spike is worth a thousand of you Angel and if you ever want to try to say otherwise again, not only will you wake up on fire, but I'll watch you burn, mix your ashes in holy water, make a nice cross and hang it on my front door." With that Dawn turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

"Well." Angel grinned to himself, that one had taken the bait, now to see how Buffy was reacting.  
The disturbing thing was Buffy made no reaction, only of that to lay down her silverware, wipe her mouth with her napkin and follow her sister out of the room. Angel had looked closely into her eyes, eyes that held no emotion, they were completely blank, as if she hadn't heard a thing he had said. Maybe it was just as Dawn said though and Buffy was coming down with some hopefully human form of a bug. He pushed the former thought from his mind and settled on the fact that she was just getting the flu and it was nothing to really worry about, she probably just had a headache and had tuned everything out because she didn't feel well. Yeah that was it. There was nothing to worry about at all.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain. **

**Chapter 11- Deep Down**

The ride to Wolfram and Hart was a silent one for all. The two cars arrived in the garage simultaneously and the one sound in the huge expanse of a parking garage was car door slams and footfalls. Even the stifling closeness of everyone in Angel's private elevator didn't alleviate the obvious stress that the occupants were under.

Buffy's eyes were closed and she tried hard not to think, she just wanted this whole trip to be done and over with, the further away she got from this place and these people the better, with the exception of Dawn. There were too many shared memories with some of them, memories that she didn't really want to be reliving right now, it wouldn't do to have the step-bitch's see her emotionally wrought.

"The face that you're making now, it might not be a bad thing to try to keep it for the duration, a little sympathy on the judge's part right now wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing." Gunn told her quietly from beside her."

Buffy turned and looked at him, her face changing to that of a bemused expression.

"What look was that?" Buffy honestly had no clue that she had been making any kind of face, she was just trying to be blank and not show emotion.

"The one of despair, pain, and sorrow. Gee girl, I don't think I have ever seen a face more pathetic than your's just a moment ago."

Charles was in fact trying to lighten her mood, but was obviously failing miserably. It was almost like he was talking to a brick wall, or a blank piece of paper. She was trying, he could tell, but the effort just wasn't reaching, neither in her voice or her eyes. It was a little disconcerting how there was just nothing there. It was easy to see why Angel and Spike had fallen for her, she was a knockout. But like so many that dealt in death, sooner or later that was all you became an executioner who did the job, death having robbed you of everything but its black desolate void.

Charles looked at her one more time, again she was facing front, not smiling, not even moving her eyes, almost as if she was a robot. If only he would have known about Robo Buffy, then maybe he could have gotten a chuckle out of the picture, instead all he got was perplexity.

The door opened on the top floor, Angel feeling that it was best that the least amount of people that knew a slayer was in the building, the better, so Buffy and Dawn would spend the remaining hour before the hearing in the penthouse suite.  
He hoped that the view alone would bring a smile to their faces, he hated seeing both of them so sullen, especially Dawn, she used to be so bright and cheery that just looking at her could turn a vamp to dust. This older Dawn was more mature, quiet, and had definitely seen to many things in such a short life.

Buffy he had seen like this before, after her mom died, she he just chalked it up to her taking the news badly about her father and now this whole mess with her's and Dawn's Inheritance, he never really thought for a moment that there could be anything else the matter. He had seen the most bright and vivacious person become hard and sullen because of too many battles, unfortunately this is what had happened to Buffy.

"I have some things I have to take care of down in my office. I'll come up and get you when everything is ready downstairs. Please make yourselves at home, and once this thing is over I'll take both of you out to celebrate." Kissing Buffy on the cheek he joined the rest of the group in the elevator and went down to his office, never seeing Spike's lingering shadow well hidden in a darkened corner.

Dawn went immediately to the wall of windows and stared in awe over the city, luckily it was a nice clear day and she could see as far as the ocean. The fact that the whole place was sunlit, puzzled her though, then she realized that Angel must have special glass installed if he was able to live her without being fried every morning. Glancing back at her sister, it troubled her to see that Buffy hadn't moved at all, she was still a few feet in front of the elevators, looking dazed, if she didn't know better she would have thought that her sister was drugged.

"Buffy, you have to come see this, I can see the ocean from way up here, it's spectacular. Wouldn't it be nice to go to the beach and get a tan before we head back to London. Everyone would be so envious of our tans." Dawn was starting to get desperate to try anything to get her sister to snap out of the funk that she was in. It worried her to see Buffy like this, things hadn't been this bad since Willow, Tara, Anya, and Xander had pulled Buffy from Heaven. Buffy had closed herself off from all of them except Spike and now he was gone.

"Do you think about him sometimes Buffy? Do you miss him?" Just thinking about her best friend being gone was enough to put a lump the size of a basketball in Dawn's throat, but she had never really tried to talk to Buffy about Spike and the relationship that they had together before he died.  
"What?" Buffy asked not quite sure if she heard her sister or her own mind asking her the question."

"Do you think about him sometimes Buffy? Do you miss Spike?" Dawn sensing her sister's need went to her and put her arm around her, trying to be at least some comfort even though what Buffy needed Dawn was unable to give her.

"It's okay if you do, because I really miss him too." Walking her sister over to the sofa was like walking an old woman. Sitting down beside her, she took Buffy's hands in her own.

"I know about the relationship you guys had when you came back. No one ever thought that I saw anything, but like Xander I did, only I was more open to it I guess. I thought it was cool, because I liked Spike, he was fun and he took care of me. He never stopped loving you, not for a moment. Sometimes he would sit in his crypt and just stare out the door as if expecting you to fling it open at any moment. I also know that you loved him, you didn't realize it at first, but I did. You leaned on him like you never did with anyone, not even Angel. You needed him, because he understood you like none of us ever did, he was your solace and your strength. He got his soul back for you, so you wouldn't have to fight the darkness alone anymore, so that you could have someone to stand shoulder to shoulder with at the end. Spike gave his life so that you could live Buffy, just like you did for me. You have to live for him Buffy, he wouldn't want you like this." Holding her sister in her arms she felt Buffy shaking, but knew that no tears would come, Buffy's pain was past that now, it was down deep in her soul.

Buffy clung to her sister, finally feeling someone who she could open up to about Spike. Dawn understood and accepted her, not because Dawn was her sister, but because Dawn had understood her love for Spike. She wanted to cry for him, now that she had a shoulder to lean on, but the tears wouldn't come, instead it felt as if not only was her soul crying but it was bleeding for him.

"I loved him so much Dawn, I still love him. Why does it have to hurt so much. It takes all my strength to get out of bed in the morning because it's one more day that I have to spend without him. It's worse than when I sent Angel to hell, or when mom died, I wish that I had died with him. I shouldn't have left him, even though he told me to. I told him that I loved him Dawnie, but after all of the horrible things that I had said and done to him he didn't believe me. Spike died for me, never knowing just how much I loved him, how much I will always love him. Parts of me wish that I was dead so that I could be with him again, nothing seems worth it without him." Sobs wracked her body, but still there were no tears just the gut wrenching sobs of someone who had known way to much pain in their life.

Dawn held on to her sister and prayed to whatever was above; that her sister would be better soon, that the pain would go away and Buffy could be whole again. Time stood still around them.

For Spike time was his problem, for he was living on small borrowed amounts. Invisible tears streamed down his face at Buffy's declaration, he could feel the pain in his soul as if it was his own. It made hell seem almost like an oasis.

"I'll figure this out Buffy, I swear I will. If not to bring myself back, then to end your torment. I'll find a way love, I promise." Not able to bear any more Spike vanished through the wall and immediately headed to the science department and to hopefully find Fred with some answers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain. **

**Chapter 12- Confrontations of Winners and Losers  
**  
"Harmony, I need these typed and back on my desk to sign by this afternoon. I'll be out of the office for a few hours, Gunn and I have a meeting." Not bothering to answer any questions he strode back into his office where Gunn was waiting and preparing for the hearing that would take place in thirty minutes in Angel's private conference room.  
"Everything's ready Boss, just waiting for the other party to show. I finally got the last little piece of information I needed. This just might be the easiest case I've ever had."

"Good, I'm going to go upstairs and wait with the girls, buzz me when your ready for us. Is there anything that you want to relay to Buffy and Dawn." Angel stood over his desk signing and shuffling papers. He still had trouble believing that so much power could lay in a single sheet of paper and the words printed on it. If only he could find an easy way like that to have the power over Wolfram and Hart then maybe this whole taking over and evil law firm just might turn out okay.

"Yeah, just tell them to be cool. I'm taking care of everything, there is nothing that they need to worry about." To further stress his point Gunn propped his feet up on the conference table and leaned back hands folded behind his head and began his wait. It was so much fun to annihilate the competition this way, and a lot less of a health risk.

Upstairs Buffy and Dawn stood side by side, arms entwined, staring out over the city that was no appealing to them. There were fun things to see and do, but home had become London, their family was there.

After Buffy's breakdown or breakthrough, depending on which person you asked they had sat and actually made some plans as to what to do with the remainder of their trip. There would be of course the prerequisite day at the beach, and a day of shopping, then they would be heading to Sunnydale and to the monument that would be erected for those that had lost their lives. Then they would head home, maybe then they would plan on taking a real vacation somewhere, just the two of them. Dawn wanted to go to Paris, and Buffy wanted to go to Rome, if things went really well today, maybe they would have the chance to do both. After than who knew, they could travel some more, or sit down and actually have normal lives again.

It gladdened Angel's heart to see them close. As he watched from the doorway he could still feel Buffy's sorrow rolling off of her in waves, but at least her and Dawn were talking and interacting with each other. Something had definitely happened while he had been downstairs, something good and had been coming for a long time. He hated to break them apart, but surely their guests would be here by now, even though Charles' hadn't buzzed yet.

Walking up behind both of them he un-Angel like put both arms around the girls and drew them into his embrace hoping to give them what little bit of comfort he could, knowing it wouldn't be anywhere near what they needed. To his surprise both leaned into him and put their arms around him. Without realizing it both girls had turned to cling to the one person where they could feel Spike the most his Sire. For both it was nice, but would never be as nice as if they had the real things beside them, but for a moment they could pretend.

Behind him Angel could sense his childe and also heard the soft growl that came from him, but there was nothing he could do. Not wanting to rub Spike's nose in it even more, but definitely wanting to test his patience, Angel placed a kiss on each girl's forehead, saving Buffy for last. He almost chuckled when he heard the growl intensify before it was interrupted by Gunn paging him from downstairs.

"Angel, we're ready for you down here, whenever you're ready." The line was cut off and Angel turned around to usher the girls to the elevator already knowing that Spike had disappeared just as quickly as he had come. Angel really was going to have to have words with his Childe about invading his private space. For now that could wait, right now he had to make damn sure that Buffy and Dawn got everything they deserved and right now it was what rightfully belonged to them

Heading both girls in the direction of the conference room, he could now understand why both girls considered their step mother to be a slut. Dressed in a very form fitting purple dress she looked as if she not only knew her plastic surgeon by first names, but was also intimately involved with him. Everything about her screamed plastic and fake, from platinum hair that could rival Spike's in brightness, to her porn star boobs and injected lips. Her eyes were a definite unnatural shade of purple that for some strange reason matched the polish on her fingers and toes. Lets not forget the shoes that exclaimed former stripper or porn queen then Angel would let Spike put a stake right through his heart. Gunn introduced the woman as named Simona, as if that was her actual name.

"We're all here now, why don't we take a seat and get started." Angel pulled out chairs for Buffy and Dawn. Simona had

Simona had looked at Angel and had practically drooled. Angel could smell the lust coming off of her and it made him ill, there was defiantly no class to be found there, which made it obvious why she would attract someone like Hank Summers who wouldn't know class if he had been hit upside the head with it, after all he was the one that had cheated on Joyce, which just went to show people that the man's brains lived in his pants and not his head. Simona had obviously thought that Angel was going to pull out her chair for her too, but was left pouting her too large lips when he pulled out a chair and sat down between Buffy and Gunn.

"Is it really necessary for you to be here sir, as head of the firm I would have thought that you would have a lot more important things to do rather than sit in on a simple hearing." Simona's attorney Davis something or the other, Angel couldn't remember, was one of the ones he had gone up against when fighting Hollings a few years ago.

"I have a vested interest in this case, and as long as Judge Stallworth doesn't mind I'll sit in." Nodding at the judge who was in the employ of Wolfram and Hart he knew that the man would see things his way.

"Sit down Davis and let's get this over with, I would like to tee off sometime today. If Mr. Angel wants to sit in let him, it's his building we're in after all."

Passing papers to the judge, Davis began is argument. "As you can see sir, my client was the wife to Hank Summers for 9 months before his death last month, the defendants were unknown as was Hank Summers' first wife a Joyce Summers who is deceased as of 3 years ago. The claim these women have brought against my client is fraudulent and charges should be filed against them for making claims against the inheritance of Hank Summers."

"Okay, Mr. Gunn what do you have to say on your clients' behalf." Stallworth took the papers and thumbed through them, trying to actually look interested in what was perfected falsified documents.

"Your honor, I have here copies of birth certificates, a marriage license, and bank checks from Hank Summers to Joyce Summers for the care of their two children Buffy and Dawn. Repeated attempts were made at contacting Mr. Summers over the past 4 years, but there has been no word other than an odd phone call or two to the girls. Mr. Summers was allegedly in Spain when Mrs. Summers became gravely ill. Word was left with his secretary as to his immediate return home due to her illness. Word that was left I believe with you Simona Farnsfutter, but you didn't tell Hank Summers' that his wife was ill, you told him that she was dead. Then you wasted no time in telling Hank that you were pregnant and now the two of you could be married right away. I have documents showing that you and Hank Summers' were married in Spain a month after that call. Joyce Summers was still alive at that time and lived on for a few months after that. So in actuality you and Hank Summers' were married illegally which makes you being his widow null and void. The rightful inheritors and Buffy and Dawn Summers. All assets pertaining to the marriage are to be forfeited immediately, including residences, bank accounts, cars, jewelry artwork, and anything of value. The residence is to be vacated immediately and all bank accounts are to be immediately closed pending an audit. Not only will Mr. Summers' accounts be audited, but yours as well Ms. Farnsfutter." Once Gunn got on a roll he was amazing, he hadn't even bothered to stand up for any of it, just sat in his seat and kept his cool, knowing that it was an open and shut case and that he was already the winner. Man it was good to have all this power and knowledge in his head, it was an even better trip than fighting demons and vampires.

"Young lady you have some explaining to do as to why not only did you blackmail Mr. Summers, but as to why you came her to con the rightful heirs of the estate. If I were you Davis I would start preparing a defense for your client in the case of fraud. Gunn, if I was you I would tell your clients to sue the ass of this tart and take her for everything she's got. This case is closed. Judgement is for the defendant. All assets must immediately be turned over to Dawn and Buffy Summers. That includes anything of value bought during the marriage be they gifts or otherwise young lady, including the rock residing on the plaintiff's finger seeing as how it was acquired due to blackmail. Ms. Farnsfutter you are not to return to your husband's residence and you will hand over any charge cards or lines of credit immediately. An audit will be done on all of your assets from the day of the marriage till this very moment and for one year afterward. You will not be taking a dime from these women."

"But what about my clothes and personal things, I'm not letting them get their hands on my things. I earned all of that money fair and square and you're just going to sit here and hand it all over to them. My God, I mean look at them, does it really look like they need anything, especially with their own private sugar daddy sitting right beside them. Do you think that I am just going to stand here and let this happen?" She was literally shrieking, it was almost comical. For the first time in weeks Buffy let out a genuine laugh at the woman who thought that she had been smart enough to get away with anything.

Simona didn't take kindly to being laughed at and reached over the table to slap Buffy across the face. Buffy slayer skills still very much intact caught her hand in midair and wretched it to the table causing a howl of pain from her father's blackmailer.

"I think we have everything we need, thank you judge. Buffy if you want to press charges for assault as well as theft, we can make sure that this woman is locked away for a long time." Gunn stood up, followed by Dawn and Angel. Buffy still sat in her seat pinning Simona's hand to the table.  
"Charges won't be necessary, but if you could make certain that this woman doesn't leave with any of my father's possessions until Dawn and I can have everything verified I would be extremely appreciative."

Angel made a call on the desk phone and a few seconds later two burly men came into the room.

"Gentleman, if you would be nice enough to see that Ms. Frankenfurter here doesn't leave with anything of value, including credit cards and jewelry, strip search her if necessary, then run a scan to make sure she hasn't swallowed anything. You are to then take her to a motel where you are to watch her every move until I give you notice otherwise. All phone calls from her room are to also me monitored."

"You can't do this to me, there are laws against this stuff, tell them Davis." Simona was rubbing her hand now that Buffy had let it go.

Looking at Angel you had a sinister look on his face was enough for Davis to let his client go, for fear of Angel's wrath. He had heard tales about what the vampire would do to people that didn't follow his orders, he wasn't ready to face a beheading, or to end up in a bucket.

"I'm sorry Simona, but I feel it is in my best interest, but I will no longer be able to provide you with legal counsel. You will get my bill in the mail. And don't try to blackmail me either, because I have all of our meetings on video." Picking up his briefcase he bid a hasty retreat out the door and back to his own office.

Tearing the huge diamond off her finger, she threw it at the person she figured she could cause the most damage to, the kid. Not quick enough to catch it, and with Buffy sitting and Angel at the door Dawn wasn't ready when the ring hit her in the cheek, the heavy stone cutting into its soft flesh and making the blood run. Dawn immediately cried out in the flash of pain and grabbed her cheek.

Buffy having caught the action out of the corner of her eye wasted no time in leaping over the table and grabbing the woman by the throat. Almost feral eyes looked down in Simona's frightened face, she could feel the blood pounding in her neck as Buffy squeezed, not caring that she was cutting off the woman's air supply.

"It's one thing to attack me, but you never and I mean never hurt my sister." Buffy's voice was as devoid of emotion as a person could get. It didn't even bother her that she was close to snapping the woman's neck, or that the woman was also rapidly turning blue. It wasn't until she felt Angel's arms tugging her off that the realization of what she had almost done seeped in.  
Angel once he had Buffy on her feet let her go and watched as she checked to make sure her sister was okay then walked out the door and into his office and get in the elevator.

"Get her out of my sight, and remember what I told you." Angel turned to Dawn. Gunn was pressing a handkerchief to her cheek and looking up at Charles with tears in her eyes. Figuring that she would be all right he headed off to find Buffy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain. **

**Chapter 13- Runaways and Returns**

Taking the elevator up to his penthouse, he was glad for her, but also extremely worried. He had never seen Buffy snap like that, not even at a demon. She hadn't even seemed remorseful which wasn't like Buffy at all, there had to be something wrong.

When the door opened it wasn't Buffy's face that he saw but Spike's.

"She's not here."

"Where did she go."

"I don't know, I followed her as far as the street, then she hailed a cab and took off. I'm worried Angel, she's not in the frame of mind right now to be alone." Spike's hands were buried in his duster to hide from his Sire the fact that they were shaking, he had just popped back in when he saw Buffy running for the cab, a tidal wave of emotions pouring off of her, so much so that Spike couldn't tell one from the other.

Picking up the nearby phone Angel dialed a number. He was worried now too, if Spike was worried about her then there was something that was really wrong.

"Check the outside camera's I want the license plate and the whereabouts of the cab that Ms. Summers' got into, and I wanted it five minutes ago." There were times like this that he was glad that he had taken over an evil law firm, other times it was just a pain in the ass.

"So it stopped about five blocks away and now its moving again. I'll be in my car, you can reach me on that line. Whatever you do, don't lose that cab, you're life depends on it."

Turning around Angel grabbed a set of keys from a table by the elevator.

"If you're coming let's go, I'm not going to stand around and wait for you." Stepping in the elevator, he wondered what was going through Buffy's mind, especially for her to just take off like that without telling anyone. He knew that something had been wrong since she had come to L.A. but it must have been a lot worse than he had thought.

"What do you think she's doing. I hate to say this but you know her a lot better than I do, have spent more time with her." Angel was worried enough to even ask Spike for advice, what was he going to be doing next asking for the family secret recipes.  
"I don't know, I haven't seen her this wigged out since she thought she killed a girl. She beat me up pretty good to get the frustration out then left me in an alley." Spike remembered the time, he had been trying to hard to earn her love, and he thought that he had almost achieved it. He knew that she had been using him, but felt that given enough time they could get past it and she would eventually love him.

Spike was trying hard not to think about the things that he had overheard Buffy telling her sister, it was enough to make his ghostly gut clench and more than enough for him to almost feel his heart beat. She loved him, and from the look of it, a lot. It was all of his dreams come true, not only if they could find the stupid bint and get his body back then he would finally be able to be with her. What in the hell was she thinking just running off like that. When he got the chance he was royally going to give her a piece of his mind, at least after he shagged her senseless no fewer than a dozen times.

Driving down the road Angel kept in constant contact with the firm, according to them, they were about a block away from where the cab was stopped at a light. All they could really do was tail it to see where it went since it was the middle of the day, and hello sun, Angel vampire, go poof.

When they saw the cab being hailed and another passenger getting in, they realized they had lost her.

"Son of a bitch." Spike exclaimed as the cab took off with no sign of Buffy anywhere.

"She must have gotten out of the cab somewhere along the way and we didn't realize it. The only thing we can do is get the group together and start doing a search of all the places that she might go. Maybe she just wanted to get away from a few and she'll show up at the hotel tonight. After all she's a slayer she can take care of herself." Angel hoped that soon he would feel as convincing as he hoped he sounded. It was time to get back to the office and get the group together. Not only did they have a missing person, but that person was Buffy.

Driving back to the office Spike let Angel have it both barrels.

"So what are we supposed to do, just wait around until she decides to pop up out of the blue. She ran away Angelus, doesn't that say something to you. If she just wanted a merry jaunt because she needed a break she would have told someone, especially Dawn."

"She can take care of herself Spike, she'll probably turn up tonight at the hotel loaded down with packages from shopping. I'm not saying that we won't go out and look for her, just that I want to see if she'll show up on her own first."

"So anything could happen to her between now and the time that you  
have decided to send out the search party." Spike couldn't believe that Angel was just going to leave Buffy out there without looking for her.

Walking by Harmony's desk Angel picked up his mail and listened to Spike rant on his heels.

"Spike, wait up." Harmony called.  
"What do you want?" Spike exclaimed, frustrated at the fact that he couldn't get through to Angelus. Damned nancy boy was just begging for an ass kicking.

"I have a package here for you. Kind of strange really, getting mail for a ghost. Who knows that you are still alive anyway? Well besides everyone here at the office anyway, and like anyone would want to give you something. Let alone take the time to mail it." Harmony went off on one of her tangents completely forgetting the package that she was supposed to be giving Spike.

"Harm, would you just give me the damn thing before your yapping makes my non existent ears bleed."

Glaring at Spike she put the package on the counter and smirked at the thought of a ghost picking it up, she couldn't wait to see the look on his face when it went through his fingers. Picking up the phone to dial out a call Angel had told her to make she waited.

Spike concentrating his energy picked up the package much to Harmony's astonishment and chagrin and tore it open. A brilliant flash of light filled the area and a horrible screeching came over the phone making Harmony drop the phone and rub her ear.

"Well that was a slap and a tickle. Just great someone trying to play jokes on the spook. It wasn't bloody funny, about blinded me and I don't even have real eyes, stupid wankers." Spike mumbled and stomped off in search of Angel and the crack team that would help him find Buffy.

Stomping off after Angel's who slammed his office door after him. Spike was willing to physically force Angel to see reason if he had to. They couldn't just leave Buffy out there, she was alone and hurting, who knew what could happen to her.

Spike was really worried about Buffy, it didn't matter that she was the Slayer, that she could physically handle herself against anything that the world could confront her with, he was worried about Buffy the woman.

As normal Spike had no regard for doors having grown used to being able to walk through anything he wanted to. Instead he found himself meeting the oak of the door face to face, the force at which he met the door forced him onto his back in a sprawl of limbs.

Angel hearing the blow to the door turned around and opened it ready to rip of the head of whoever was trying to break into his office, he was really going to have to take it up with Harmony as to what it meant to not be disturbed. What met him was the stunned expression of Spike who was laying sprawled on the floor.

It was but a split second before Angel was assulted by a jubulent Spike. It was all he could do to hold on to his cup of otter blood and the folders in his arms. Just as he was about to lose the cup in his hand it was roughly grabbed from him and it was all he could do as he watched his now corporeal childe drain it dry with obvious glee.  
It was then that Angel noticed the screeching that seemed to come from everywhere, and Harmony rubbing her ears as if they were bleeding. What in the hell was going on, and why after all they had tried to get Spike back to normal and failing was he now all of a sudden whole again. He had the feeling that he was going to kill whoever was involved with this. Ghost Spike was bad enough but a living Spike was going to be the death of him.

"Harmony, what's going on with the phones." Angel's patience was being tested, just standing here watching Spike drink his favorite otter blood was enough to make him want to break his childe in half add to that the hideous noise that overflowed from every room and you definately had a day that was a little worse than all the others seemed to be every since his team had taken over this law firm from hell.

"I don't know Boss, it's the same on every floor and every phone. They're working on it right now, but there not sure when it's going to stop."

Angel grabbed his favorite mug, now drained of course back from his childe and strode back into his office slamming the door. Maybe he could actually get some work done if he went up to his apartment. That was definately a thought.

"Well you can stay here and do whatever you want, I'm going to look for Buffy, luckily for me someone decided that I needed to be whole again, so sod off Peaches. When I find her, and I will, I'll let her know just how much you care."

They stood there arguing for a good fifteen minutes, it wasn't until Spike was attacked by Harmony and Lorne was bashed over the head that they realized what was going on around them. Spike had just enough time to knock Harmony's porch lights out before she had done any damage. Looking around they finally noticed the chaos that was ensuing, people were going crazy, attacking each other and bleeding from the eyes.

"Guess you're going to have you're hands full here, I'm off to find a slayer." Spike grinned, loving the feeling of leaving Angel in the lurch.

Spike turned around to storm off in true Spike fashion only to be stopped not by a door this time but by Eve, Angel's liason to the senior partners.

"Leaving right now for any reason is not a good thing. We have bigger problems right now than your little runaway. Walk with me here gentleman. Seems that there was never supposed to be two vampires with a soul in this plane of existence. My theory is, the reality of our dimension has now been altered and you two have to figure out a way to fix it before we all cease to exist. You're leaving now Spike might only make things worse." They walked down the hall trying hard not to listen to Eve, because you never really did know whether the girl was out to help you or to help herself and the senior partners.

They were halfway down the hall when the elevator doors opened and a staggering Gunn stepped out, sheer shock registering on his face.

"We don't want worse, worse is not good. I just went to the white room to see what the big cat had to say. The cat's gone, the white room too, all that's there is a howling abyss. Have either of you ever heard a howling abyss, terrible sound."

"If the white room's gone then the conduit to the senior partners is gone, which means we're alone in this one guys, just us and a big gaping tear in the balance of the universe." Eve looked shocked at the fact that the senior partners had decided to step out of this one.

Angel seeing Spike's nonchalance about the whole thing knew that he was going to regret this one day.

"Spike, stay. Please, Buffy is around somewhere and I'll help you find her once we work this out."

"We'll all look for her." Gunn inputted, having comforted Dawn when she had realized that her sister was missing.

Spike couldn't do anything but nod in agreement and pray that Buffy would be okay until they found her. If anything happened to her while he was helping Angel he would personally rip out his dead heart and feed it to him.

"All right, first order of business, finding out which one of you the Shansu was really written for." Eve grinned on the inside knowing that this was definately an interesting turn of events.

"I just read the prophecy and there was nothing in it about Spike" Angel tried to be nonchalant about the thing.

"Wait a minute, you read the prophecy that you don't believe in. You called it a load of rubbish. Well that's bloody interesting." Spike just stared at his Sire not believing his ears.

"Wait we need is for an expert to read it and tell us what it says." Eve stood there looking almost confused as to what to do.

"And Wesley's not here." Gunn was finally starting to look more normal.

"But his department still is, so I suggest that we start there." Eve made her suggestion as if she was actually a part of the group instead of an outsider.

Together the four of them got into an elevator and took it to Wesley's department floor concern written on all of their faces, but Spike's for a completely different reason. His concern the one and only that he had at the moment was finding Buffy and making sure that she was okay


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 14- Alone**

The early evening sun shone on her as she walked along the beach, still in the dress that she had worn that morning. Her shoes were off and dangling in her fingers and the soft lapping water washed over them.

There were still stragglers on the beach enjoying the twilight, but the families had gone home to supper and bath time and stories read to children that would drop off after the first page. The day for them would be the same all over again when they awoke.

At one time Buffy had wanted that life, the mundane existence that normal people had. The family, the job, the house, everything that she would never have. She could now, her slayer duties were over, if she really wanted to she could have the life that she always wanted.

But she didn't want that life anymore, especially since there was no one to share it with. Life just wasn't worth it anymore. At one time the fight was everything, life, death, love, all the things that she could handle. When she had retired there had just been Dawn to take care of. Now that Dawn was settled and would never have to worry about things again, her jobs, all of them were done.

There was nothing left for her, not here, not in London. Her friends all had their own lives all of them happy and relatively non Hellmouthy. With the new council they would all have jobs doing what they were destined to do, fighting the good fight, whereever it was that the world needed them to be.

One person could have made old age and getting to that point an interesting ride, but he was gone, and had left nothing behind except the imprint on Buffy's heart. She would have liked traveling the world with him seeing all the places that she had read or dream about as a girl, experiencing life as she had always wanted.

Those dreams were gone, and like his ashes buried deep inside the crater of Sunnydale. Hopefully when things were all said in done they could be together. She didn't care when she was or what torment she would have to go through as long as they were able to be together again.

For now she walked the beach, alone in her thoughts as she was alone in life, but not for long and never again.

No one thought much of the lonely girl walking the beach late at night. Not even the demons that could smell her despair at least a mile in every direction. No one bothered to even try, because what fun would it be to take something that was already dead and empty inside. There was still a soul, but this one had lost its spark and its will to live. Best to leave this one alone and move on to someone's whose blood could still sing. The blues weren't even a part of this one anymore, all that was left was an empty shell.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 15- Surprises**

Battle weary and drained the two vampires strode into Angel's office in a silent fury. They had been led on a wild goose chase that had both fit to be tied.

Gunn didn't know which one he felt sorrier for, Angel or Spike. His whole mission since joining Angel had been ridding the world of bad guys and helping Angel to finally reach his atonement and regain his humanity, and now things weren't so clear and he knew it had to due to the mojo the doc had put in his head. It blurred the lines, or at least tried to between right and wrong. Some of it must have been wearing off because lately he found himself forgetting little things that last week he would have been able to rattle off without a second thought, like all the stipulations on the Treatise of the Granglucksmit clan. Now he could remember sections but no longer could he recall the full thing verbatim. He was going to have to see that doctor about getting another surge of the mojo before the whole thing wore off for good.

Gunn was finally at a position of power in his life, power that he had never dreamed and in his own right was a liason to the Senior Partners, he didn't want to risk ruining eerything, not right now. He had come too far to not see this through.

Having turned down Spike's request of a drink and stared at his former boss in astonishment. Gunn was astonished at the fact that Spike beat Angel and for the shansu that Angel had been working so hard toward for the past few years. What happened to have caused this chain of events. This was some information that could be of use to him later if he could attain it in a way that made it look innocent.

"So what happened man, you two come back like you had just been through ten rounds with a Terminator T-9000, and that Spike was the one that beat you to the cup, something's going on man."

Gunn leaned it close to Angel so that he could absorb the full details of Spike and Angel's foray into the desert. There was something about the way that he was acting that Angel couldn't quite put his finger on just yet. The thought popped out of his mind as soon as it got there. After all he was talking about Gunn, who had been with him since almost the beginning.

"Nothing, we fought, Spike got to the cup first. It was odd, I had never seen him like that in all the years we fought side by side. There was such determination, he wanted it like nothing I'd ever seen before. He wanted it more than I did, end of story." Angel folded his hands behind his head feeling his body heal from the inside out as he stared out the window and at a bustling city below. Spike had finally convinced him that there was something wrong with Buffy and since the Angel Investigation's team helped the helpless that is what they would be doing tonight.  
Dawn had called the office an hour earlier, Buffy still had not shown up and it was past midnight. The whole team including Wesley who had just returned from his sojourn in England were meeting in this very spot in 30 minutes to start the search. The firms's psychics were on the job also trying to locate Buffy through magic and Angel didn't doubt that they would soon be able to find her. Angel didn't know wether to be angry at her for pulling this kind of stunt to make them all worry, or to be worried that she had been gone so long with no contact with anyone since this morning. He had a feeling that one way or the other he was liable to wring her damn neck.

At the Hyperion Dawn was in a tizzy with worry. It just wasn't like Buffy to do something like this. She knew that her sister had been pretty out of it lately, especially with the nightmares that she didn't think any one knew about. Dawn knew, of course Dawn watched and listened when no one else did, she saw things and heard things that people missed all because she tended to live in the shadows.

Spike had taught her how to be observant to everything around her. He had told Dawn that just because she didn't have any special powers and wasn't a demon that she couldn't learn to use all of her senses, he had taught her how to trail demons and how to stay out of sight doing it. She had gotten so good that on more than one ocassion she was able to sneak up on her teacher when Spike had least expected it. The summer they had spent together had meant a lot to her. It had been nice to have someone look after her that was never going to die, at least in the regular way.

Going into her sister's room she trained her eye like Spike had taught her, not only looking for anything that was out of place, but looking for the things that looked just a little too perfect.

Looking at Buffy's made bed she did the usual sweep of looking under the pillows and the mattresses, even getting down on her hands and knees to look underneath. Going through dresser drawers were her next chore.

Most of the clothes Buffy had brought were folded neatly and placed inside, unlike Dawn who was living out of her suitcase. She stopped when she came to the drawer Buffy had placed her underwear in, the drawer was a mess, almost as if someone had gone through it looking for something. She doubted anyone had been in the room beside Buffy which made her wonder why her sister would have made this mess. If Buffy was picky about one thing it was her underwear, especially since her sister paid the earth for little scraps of nothing.  
Dawn finished looking through the room and came up with nothing. She had just decided to look through her sister's suitcases when she heard her name shouted from downstairs. The way the hotel was set up, the acoustics were awesome and it someone shouted loud enough from downstairs, Dawn who was on the third floor could actually hear it, especially since all the doors were open.

The strangest thing occured to her though, it almost sounded like Spike. Man her mind must be really playing tricks on her, it was probably just Angel coming to get her for the meeting. She was standing to get up from the bottom of the closet when she stumbled over a loose board and knocked over Buffy's carry on. From inside tumbled out Buffy's diary, this one wasn't like the one that Dawn remembered peaking at, this one was brand new. Picking it up she heard her name called again, and again if it didn't sound like Spike, only this time it was coming from the stairs up to the floor.

"Probably Wesley, Angel said that he was going to be back for the meeting." Dawn used what to her was the obvious reason for the definate English accent that came with the shout.

Leaving the room she went next door and got her purse, checked her lipstick and left the room. Opening Buffy's diary she started scanning through it figuring she could meet Wesley at the stairwell. With one hand holding the book open and her other on the door knob, she paid no attention to what was right in front of her face until the door was wretched from her grasp and she dropped the book on the floor a badly caricture of Angel flying out of it.

"Damn, it." She muttered when bending to pick up the picture the contents of her purse spilled on the floor and proceeded to scatter in all directions.

"Bloody hell." Bending to her jean clad knees Dawn started picking up the contents, shoving them back in haphazardly.

"What have I told you about watching your language." The sound of his voice sent shivers down her spine and made her bring her face up sharply. Her eyes met with the worn scuffs of his Doc Martens and traveled up his black jeans, seeing the leather flapping around his calves she shot straight up and stared eye to eye with the person she had cried every night for.

"Hello nibblet." His eyes twinkled mischieviously and his smile screamed scarcasm as he looked into Dawn's wide blue eyes seeing her shock echoing in them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 16- Reunions**

Dawn did what her brain told her to do, she screamed then promptly fainted, Spike's arms scooping her up before her legs even buckled.

Carrying Dawn to her room Spike couldn't help but chuckle at the fright he had given her, and damn if it didn't feel good to be this close again to one of his girls. He still couldn't believe how much he had missed both of them, they were his reasons for everything. Holding her close he breathed in the scent of her skin and the shampoo and soap she used, Dawn always smelled like a warm summer day, sunshine, apples and earth.

Laying the best friend that he had ever known down softly on the bed he smoothed her long hair back from her face and sat once again in the bed side chair and watched her sleep. It comforted him to know at least he would fully be there this time when she awoke.

Sensing her body temperature change before she actually began to shiver, more from shock that the air in the room Spike shrugged out of his coat and laid it over her, knocking a picture off her night stand as he did.

Picking it up he looked at it, figuring it was going to be a picture of Dawn and Buffy together. He had to sit down in shock at the image before him, it had been a good twenty years since he had seen what he looked like, never really caring much for pictures.

It wasn't the fact that his skin and hair blended in with Joyce's tablecloth, it wasn't even the fact that the picture was of him sitting next to Dawn trying to teach her to play poker, drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies and popcorn. Their smiles didn't shock him, he and the bit had a lot of fun that summer together, leaning on each other, because that was all that either one of them had.

What choked his throat and brought tears to his eyes was the fold down the center of the picture. She had taken this picture with her into battle, had folded it and stuck it in her pocket. It was probably the only thing that had survived Sunnydale's demise other than the Scoobies. No one had packed anything, not knowing that the whole place was going to become a hole in the ground. But Dawn had, she had packed what was one of the most important things to her, her friendship with Spike.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 17- Questions and Answers  
**  
Moaning, feeling a headache coming on Dawn started being aware of her surroundings and the smell of tobacco and old leather and Spike's cologne hit her like a tidal wave. She wasn't dreaming. Sitting up quickly she tightened the coat around her, fighting the dizzyness that threated to overwhelm her she looked to the figure sitting beside her.

"Is it really you?" Dawn could barely choke out the words for fear that maybe she was dreaming and this was just another one of her own nightmares.

"Yeah, it's really me bit, I don't know how or why, but I'm really here." It wasn't two seconds when he and the chair he was sitting in came close to going crashing to the ground.

Dawn launched herself off the bed in the blink of an eye and into Spike's arms. Sobbing so hard that her body shook, she clung to him as if her life depended on it.

"Shh, it's okay platelet. The Big Bad's back and I promise I won't ever leave you again." Stroking her hair he realized that he was crying almost as hard as she was.

"Spike, we have to find Buffy she's been missing all day. I'm really worried, it's just not like her to take off without telling me, not after everything that's happened." Dawn hugged him with every bit of strength she had in her body, she had one member of her family back and she didn't plan on losing anymore.

"We'll find her Dawn. Angel's team is already working on it. We'll have Buffy back in no time. She may have just needed a break and felt like you were in good hands." Spike dried the girls tears knowing that his face was just as wet as hers.

Neither one was aware that they were being watched, not by one but by four people, each one not knowing whether to let their presence known or not and each one having a different opinion to the scene.

Fred thought the sight was sweet and her heart melted for both of them. The big brother missing his little sister, her relationship with Angel was like that, they weren't as close as these two, but she liked to think that maybe someday they would be.

Gunn stared in indifference hoping how soon they would realize they were all standing there, so that they could get this mission done and overwith, he had briefs to see to still tonight for a couple of cases that were in court tomorrow.

A newly home Wesley stared at the tableau in front of him in total shock. He had always been curious as to the relationship between the Slayer's sister and William The Bloody. Some of his sources in Sunnydale had said that they were extremely close and friendly even before Spike had gotten his soul, but he had never expected this kind of closeness. She looked almost as if she was the safest place in the world to be instead of a 120 plus year old deadly vampire who could snap her neck in the blink of an eye soul or no soul. What was even stranger was that William the Bloody had a lap full of human teenager and didn't even look like he was hungry but in fact looked like he was holding one of the rarest gems in the world.

Angel was furious. He had planned on breaking it gently to Dawn that Spike was alive, but only after decided when the time was right. Spike had lied to him when he had said he was popping out for a drink. He had planned all along in coming for the girl. What if his showing up would have caused her harm, Buffy would have killed him if anything would have happened to his sister. Now they just had to break these two so happy it was sickening people apart so that they could get down to the job at hand, finding Buffy.

Lorne looked at the two and he didn't even need chords to hear their happy souls. They radiated joy, but deep down he could see their worries over the person that both of them loved more than anything. The Slayer. He would bet an Oscar that she was in trouble, he had seen it in her of course, but he had also seen a lot of emptiness in the girl too. They were going to have to find her and quick before there was no turning back.

Dawn couldn't believe that Spike was actually alive and here with her right now. She had dreamt of this moment night after night, aching for what she had always believed would never happen, at least not in this lifetime. If they could just find Buffy they could be a real family or at least as any supernatural family could get. The question occurred to her, what would happen if they didn't find Buffy.

"Spike what happens if we don't find Buffy, or if something's happened to her." Getting off his lap she picked up the diary where Spike had tossed it when he had brought her in.

"We'll find her Nibblet." Spike glanced at the picture that Dawn was holding. It was the drawing he had done of Angel the night he had seen Buffy and Angel kissing in the cemetary. Looks like both girls had gotten away from Sunnydale with a piece of him intact.

"Where did you find this." Spike took the picture away from her smirking at the memory of Buffy's face when she had seen it.

"It was in this book, I think it's Buffy's journal. She's always kept one. She must have started this right after we left Sunnydale. I didn't want to read it unless I had to, she would be so pissed if I pried." Dawn handed him the book, knowing that Spike would not have the same hang ups and her and would freely open it and read it.

"Might have a clue as to where she's at. Never know." Spike began thumbing through the entries when the rest of the gang decided to make their presences known. He pocketed the journal in his coat making swift plans to look at it when they were on the hunt.  
"We're ready to roll if you to are finished catching up." Angel swooped into the room his coat billowing around him in his typical trademark fashion.

"We're ready, have the psychics heard or seen anything about Buffy?" Dawn was starting to get fidgety again. She just wanted her sister back with her where she belonged.

"We have a little problem in that department." Wesley spoke up feeling good to be back and doing something more constructive that just doing research. He had forgotten how good it felt to be on an actual case again.

"And just what kind of problem would that be mate." If Angel's team caused one hair on his Slayer's head to be touched he would personally eviscerate every one of them, except for Fred, he actually liked her.

"The psychics aren't picking up any kind of waves from Buffy." Wesley wasn't sure what to say next and he just stood there empty handed."

"Oh, god, that means she dead doesn't it." Dawn collapsed on the bed in silent tears running down her cheeks. All of a sudden she felt very hollow and numb inside.j

"What do you mean they're not picking up any waves." Spike lunged for Wesley and in the blink of an eye had him up against the wall one hand around the man's throat squeezing just enough to hurt but not to kill.

"You'd better talk watcher and you'd better talk quickly." Spike's voice was colder than ice if that was possible and his eyes were black with rage. He didn't even feel Angel and Gunn trying to forcibly pull his hand away. It was Fred's hand on his arm that made him loosen his grip and gently lower Wesley back down to the ground.

"It doesn't necessarily mean that Buffy was dead. They would know if she was dead and had traveled on. They are getting a very shaky bodily D.N.A reading, but nothing else. Basically they are finding a shell and nothing else, no essence, no soul. It's like she's there, but then she's not." Fred was trying to get this to make sense for them, but to her at least she seemed to be tripping over her tongue.

"It could mean that she is possessed by some entity. Maybe something latched on when you guys were down in the Hellmouth and being this close to where it was it making it come out and play. We don't know much yet, but they are still working on it and as soon as they have a definate location for her we'll be there." Wesley was rubbing his neck gingerly and trying hard not to hold a grudge against Spike, he would have probably done the same in his shoes if someone had told him that something was wrong with Fred. One of these days he was going to have to tell the girl that he loved her, they just never seemed to find the right time, and they were almost never alone. Looking at her Wesley didn't know what he would do if something ever happened to her, it was something he just didn't want to think about.  
"Has anyone reported yet as to where she was last seen?" Dawn was anxious to find her. There was something off about this whole mess she just couldn't put her finger on it just yet.

"We have people out searching, asking anyone who may have seen or heard of anyone fitting Buffy's description. If you know of any of her favorite places in L.A. Dawn you could be a big help. Once we find out where she might have gone then we can all split up and look in those places for her." Weslay had to put his thoughts in the mix

"That would be better than everyone going on a block by block search and would take a lot less time." Gunn was just wanting this whole night done and over with.

"While you guys do you're planning thing, I'm going to have a chat here with Goldilocks." Before Dawn or Spike could protest Lorne had Spike by the arm and was ushering him out the door and to an abandoned room down the hall, hoping that whatever vibes the newly formed vamp was giving off would help them find his lost love. And man where things rolling off of him in waves. It was almost like being back in a room with the Slayer. Spike was different while Buffy kept all of her emotions, or at least tried to bottled up inside, he let everything hang on his sleeve as if it was meant to be there.

"You know we really don't have time for this. And I really don't like having you read my brain, it is a little intrusive." Spike was antsy and his movements spoke volumes and not just to Lorne's empathic abilities. Spike was literally bouncing off the walls and dancing on the balls of his feet.

Lorne who really didn't want his throat in any jeopardy stayed within a few feet of the energy loaded vamp.  
"Down Sparky. You know I can't read you without you singing which means yoiu are going to be a willing participant which you are going to be or I'll sing every show tune I know, which could take days until you crack." Lorne to stress his point started doing vocal warm ups sounding like a gargling chicken.

"All right you win, but just a bar. I want to find Buffy."

"I Did It My Way." Belting out the line in true Sid Vicious style. Spike figured if he didn't have enough from that then he wasn't going to waste the time to do anymore. Opening his eyes just in time to see Lorne slump to the floor holding his head in his hands. The green guy was shaking like a leaf.

"I need some help in here." Spike shouted loud enough to wake the dead, or at least to have Angel haul his ass down the hall.

Everyone came running to the room and saw Spike checking Lorne who was looking quite pale despite his natural coloring.

"What happened?" Fred bent to check Lorne's pulse feeling it strong but erratic. He was conscious but barely.

"I sang one line and he went down. What the bloody hell is going on." Spike was back to bouncing off the walls pacing around the room like a caged jungle cat.

"It's bad." Lorne croaked out and stood with the help of Angel and Wesley. He was still shaking quite a bit and had the mother of all headaches but right now none of that could be helped.

"What's bad, how could you get bad out of one bleedin' line." At that moment Spike would have given anything for a cigarette or a bottle of scotch.

"Buffy's in deep trouble guys. If it wouldn't have been Spike's connection to her, when would never find her." Standing now on his own without help he walked into the bathroom grabbing a glass of water and taking a couple aspirin for the headache. Walking back out he tried to appear more calm than what he looked and felt.

"Do you know where she is Lorne?" Angel was starting to get antsy now. It was not the time to be going through one of Lorne's riddles.

"She's in Sunnydale, or what was once Sunnydale."

"Well then let's go. It will take us what two hours at the most to get there. We can still get there and back by sunup." Spike was almost ready to stride out the door when Lorne grabbed his coat with what strength he could muster.

"You won't make it in time. She doesn't have any time left." Lorne tried hard not to let the tears slide down his face but they did anyway.

"What do you mean she doesn't have any time left." The same question seemed to come from different people throughout the room..

Lorne just stood there not sure what to tell the people that loved this woman so fiercely.

"In about an hour give or take a few minutes she's going to throw herself in the big chasm that took everything away from her." Lorne said the words trying to make every word sink themselves even into his brain and he had seen the whole thing in vivid technicolor.

"What chasm? There's nothing left of Sunnydale." Fred was a little confused and didn't mind for once showing that on some things her mind just didn't ufnction on automatic like everyone thought it did.

"She's going to throw herself in. Oh God no." It was all Dawn could do to utter the words. She sat down in the nearest chair holding herself and rocking herself back and forth. The pain much more right now than she could bear.  
"Would someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on and what the fuck is Buffy going to throw herself in. The Hellmouth's gone I took care of that myself." Spike screamed at the top of his lungs. It was enough to make everyone shut up. The sound of his voice echoed throughout the hotel making everyone jump.

"There is nothing left of Sunnydale except for a crater size hole in the ground. When the Hellmouth was destroyed it sucked the town in with it. The damn things got to be at least a mile straight down" Angel was dialing on his cell phone trying to get through to Harmony but all he was getting was a busy signal.

"How are we going to get there in time." Dawn barely got the words out of her throat when Spike was there holding her.

"We'll save her Nibblet, that's what we do, we're the bloomin' good guys and we always save the day. I don't care if I have to sprout wings and fly I'll save her."

"Sprouting wings won't be a problem, the chopper will be here in five minutes and we can be in Sunnydale in about twenty." Angel spoke with such confidence that they were going to save Buffy this time. There would be no bringing her back from the grave they would do this right and no one had to die. If anyone else died on him he would probably walk his sorry assed carcass right out into the morning light.

"There's something else I have to tell you before you go, you might save her body, but Buffy's gone at least the person she was anyway."

"What do you mean she's gone." This time it was Dawn's turn to get violent trying to get to Lorne to physically throttle him.. The only thing that stopped her was Spike's arm around her waist holding her back.

"You'd better tell us everything you know and have seen, which means you are coming with us whether you want to or not." Spike didn't try to veil his threat at what he was liable to do to Lorne if they weren't able to save Buffy.

Outside the roar of propellar blades could be heard and the group minus Fred and Wesley made their way up to the roof. Once all of them were safely strapped inside Lorne began talking about what he had seen in Buffy when she had sang for him.

"I didn't know that one person could carry around that much hurt inside without going insane and basically that's what happened, she shut down, her soul couldn't fight anymore. She gave up."

"Why would someone like Buffy just give up, it doesn't make sense. Everything was going great for her, except for her father dying, everything was starting to look up for her." Angel looked at Lorne not wanting to believe what was coming out of his mouth.

Dawn knew but she kept silent, she just wanted her sister no matter what kind of shape she was in.  
"Yeah and that may be true, but there was something missing. Something none of us wanted to think about or even consider. Something that made her life worth fighting for and gave it meaning."

Spike was just staring at the window only half listening to the demon's words, his mind was on all the times that he and Buffy had shared together and his mind seemed to be stuck on the night she got drunk. And tried to kick a demon's ass only to fall on her own.

"But Dawn's still alive and so is her friends, even her watcher made it out okay." Angel was still in perplexity his mind just not wanting to give him the answer that he didn't want to hear even though his soul knew the truth.

"There was one person who didn't make it out Angel, think you big dumbass." Dawn had enough now and was starting to get mad at Angel's stupidity when it came to Buffy.

"Spike!"

"Yeah, what?"

"Spike didn't make it out. That's why Buffy doesn't want to go on living you big jack ass. Her soul mate died saving all of us. Buffy was never the same after that I knew it, she tried to hide it but I knew." It all made sense to Dawn now, Buffy had held on to make sure she was okay and now that she was she felt her job was done.

"She held on for you, she loved you, she ached for you every day that you were gone, it's what has been killing her, living life without you. You're her soul mate, you and her were meant for each other. I've learned that fate plays a huge part in our destinies. It was fate that made you a vampire and fate that brought you to Sunnydale and to Buffy. It was the same fate that gave you the chip so that the two of you could get closer, the same fate that lead Buffy to die the first time and then come back, the same for your soul. Everything has a destiny already laid out, look at me I was just some big ball of energy now I'm human. You're special William, not just as a vampire but as a person. I see that and so does Buffy. You stopped being the vampire to us a long time ago. Right now Buffy's trying to take fate into her own hands instead of letting the hands of fate play out. I just pray that we won't be too late." Dawn took Spike's hands in her own and looked at him with all the love she had in her heart for him as her brother.

"Mr. Angel, we're coming up on Sunnydale now Sir. Is there anyplace specific that you want us to land." The guys voice cracked, obviously worried about being this near to not one but two vampires.

"Do a perimeter sweep first, I want to make sure we know where she's at without having to waste time looking for her." Angel was tense and his stomach churned if he would have been able to vomit, he probably would have, not only for all of the truths that Dawn had spoken, but he just plainly hated helicopters.  
"Yes Sir."

They were more than halfway to the other side when they saw her. She was standing on the edge so close in fact that they landed fifty yards away so that the air blast from the propellers wouldn't push her in. Dawn got out first followed by Angel and Spike quietly as to not spook her. Having made plans during landing that Spike would stay back a few yards to see if Angel and Dawn could get through to her.

Spike and Angel looked at each other, it was odd being this close to the former Hellmouth and not feel any type of evil vibrations. Spike had definately closed the thing for good.

The closer the trio got to Buffy the more worried Spike and Angel became, they could see her but other than that there seemed to be no sign of life, almost as if she was a ghost and in a sense that's what she was an empty shell

Everyone's mind was on the same thing, how were they going to get through to someone who didn't seem to be there at all. For Dawn it brought back memories of seeing her sister jump to save her life and it took both Spike and Angel's hands on her arms to keep her from running to Buffy and physically dragging her back. They stood and watched wondering what to do and ate up precious seconds in which Buffy got closer and closer to oblivion.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 18- Bottomless Pits of Despair**

Buffy stared below her at the black nothingness, it looked so dark and comforting. Inside there she could finally rest, she could be at peace. There was a place where she didn't have to fight anymore, she didn't have to be the slayer, a friend, a daughter, a sister. Down there she could just be Buffy, and Spike would be there and they could be together.

They would lie wrapped in each other forever. She would replay every moment that they had spent together in her mind and when it came to their last moment together she would jump, flying through the air like his ashes.

She would fly forever with Spike.

Buffy's mind started its journey through her memories making her remember little things that she had forgotten. Things like the way his eyes twinkled when he was feeling rather murderous and the way his lips sneered evil like.

Little things there seemed so many and they seemed to come at her so fast that she felt like she was watching an old film projector type movie.

Warm desert air threw her hair in her face and eyes but she didn't bother to brush it away, just let it slap it in the face a mess of tangles.

Soon she would be in paradise. As long as she was with him, no matter where it was to her it would be paradise, even if it would happen to be the very bottomless pit of hell itself. If Buffy was with Spike nothing else mattered.

Buffy could almost feel him holding out his hand to her, ready for her descent to the other side. Having been there once before she was ready. All she had to do was take the first step and he would be there to catch her. He would always be there waiting for her. Shuffling forward she got another inch closer to the edge.

Looking down Buffy could almost see him ready with his arms wide open. Spike was smiling that smile of his that she loved, full of mischieviousness and love. He eyes were twinkling at her and his head seemed to be shaking yes at her, that she could do this, he would be with her every step of the way.

All she had to do was just get a little farther, then she would be sailing into the night with him, her lover, her soul mate, the one she wanted to spend forever with.

Just a little closer Buffy the image seemed to be saying to her. That's it, that's a girl. You can do this. Just a few more inches and we'll be together luv, just you and me forever.

Buffy heard his voice in her head. It was the voice he used when they made love. Full of desire and warmth not to mention the love that he held for her in his heart.

She wanted to remember a few more things, then she would not have the need for memories anymore when she would be living out her dreams.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 19- Not A Minute To Spare**

Angel felt it first and turned to Spike, the look on his childe's face told him all he needed to know.

Spike may have destroyed the Hellmouth but he hadn't fully destroyed the evil within. The First was still very much alive and wanting to munch on something, and that something just happened to be Buffy.

Staring at her they all watched her inch just a little closer. She was already so close to the edge it was a wonder that she hadn't fallen in just with the way the wind was blowing that had nothing to do with the chopper's blades that were now slowing down to stop.

"What are we going to do, we can't let her get any closer, or we'll lose her." Dawn was trying so hard not to let the full set of panic that she was feeling come out.

"I've got a plan. But I'll need all the muscle I can get if it goes the way I think it will. We won't have any time to go over the full details. Just give me a moment and I'll be ready."

Spike in a flash was back at the helicopter and helping himself to some gear he had seen upon exiting. Taking off his lucky coat he strapped on a repelling harness and taking as much cord as he could, he motioned for Lorne and Gunn to follow him quietly with more of the cording..

"I've only got one chance at this, and I'll need everyone's help. If she goes for it then I'm going after her. There should be enough here."

Spike was strapping cables together as were the rest of them as fast as their fingers could fly. Hoping beyond any kind of hope that there would be enough rope to reach her if she flew.

"You know this is not enough to reach the bottom." Angel whispered in Spikes ear standing beside him and helped him finish strapping it on.

"That's why I'll make sure that I won't need it now. I can't let her fall again. I watched it once and wasn't able to stop her, this way even if she goes I go with her." Spike knew that if he had to there was a switchblade in his pocket and before he would let Buffy fall alone he would go with her and then wait for the sun to take what was left. He wasn't about to let her die again.

"Guys, she's getting closer. We don't have another moment to spare." Dawn launched herself at Angel burying her face in his chest. Knowing that she couldn't watch again as the two people she loved most plummet to the ground while she was helpless to stop it.  
Spike looked at Lorne, looking for just the right time to spring into action. The demon had been silent the whole time as if trying to remember the exact moment that things would start going haywire.

Lorne took a long breath closed his eyes and remembered what Spike's singing had shown him.

"Go now." Was all that Lorne was able to gasp out before the vision yet again had him falling to his knees.

Spike took off in a straight dash not even waiting to give her the chance to see him.

He was withing a foot of her when he heard her voice.

"I'm coming my love, we'll be together forever. I love you Spike!" Buffy cried to the wind and leaped arms extended flying through the air.  
Flying through the air he caught her effortlessly. Holding onto her slack body that had found it easier to completely shut down Spike wrapped himself around Buffy and braced for the inevitable impact against the chasm's wall.

He heard and felt his spine break low on his back numbing him from the waist down, but still Spike clung to Buffy knowing that whatever time he would have to spend again in a wheelchair would make up for her being alive and okay.

Buffy's pulse was incredibly weak so much so that he could barely hear it even with vampire hearing. But at least she was still there, even if she was out cold. Better for her to wake up safe and sound than to not wake up at all.

Spike himself drifted into unconsciousness as he was pulled onto solid ground. Angel taking one look at his battered body from the times he had banged into the wall after catching Buffy and ordered a medical helicopter to be delivered along with Fred and Wesley.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.**

**Chapter 20- Paradise of The Lost and Found**

Spike had been out cold for exactly one week. He woke up groggy from medication and still wasn't able to feel anything below his waist. Even with a ready supply of blood it could be a couple of months before his body had completely repaired the damage to his spine, along with the multitude of broken ribs, two of which had each punctured a lung.

His first gasps of air came out in wheezes and he coughed up a little blood, his head falling back onto the pillow. In just lifting his head he had overexerted his lungs.

"Easy fella, you still won't be doing much for the next day or two. Good to have you back though. Don't try to talk you'll only make it worse." Fred was her usual self making notes in Spike's chart and peering at a machine through her glasses. She turned and smiled at him when he tried to talk, putting her finger over his lips.

"I'm going to give you something so that you can sleep. Have pleasant dreams." Fred took out a wicked looking needle and inserted it into the blood that was dripping into a vein in his arm.

Before Spike even had a chance to protest his eyes were drooping off to sleep never even noticing Dawn laying beside him asleep in a cot that had been brought in a magazine haven fallen out of her hand and onto the floor.

Pulling up Spike's blanket over his chest Fred tucked him in, giving him a friendly peck on the forehead before running her fingers through his growing curls. He was going to have to color it again soon, maybe Dawn could do it for him once he was better.

It was strange that she would feel almost motherly to a vampire that was old enough to be her descent a century and a half removed of course. He just brought out a maternal side in her that made her want to protect him from harm. Dawn seemed to do the same thing to her.

Picking up an extra blanket out of the closet she went over to Dawn, tucking her in and again bestowing a kiss on the head. She would be fine until morning when Fred would do her round on her patients again.

Turning off the light Fred gently closed the door behind her and soundlessly traveled across the hall to check to see her other patient.

Monitors tapped out a steady tattoo in the room. The heart monitor showed a strong slow never changing rhythm, and the breathing machine made it's constant whoosh with air. IV's dripped different fluids through tubes that traveled through veins in two separate arms that looked even paler than Spike and Angel's if that was possible.

Fred took out the chart and looked it over out of habit. Nothing had changed, everything was exactly normal. Turning on the x-ray light, she studied the cat scan pictures that had been taken of her patients brain, just in case she missed something that she hadn't seen in the previous days when she had once again poured over them. She didn't care if she had to stare at them every day for hours on end she would find the cause and the cure, it was what she did, what she lived for, helping people that needed her and right now there were two people that needed her more than anyone, even Wesley who had finally admitted that he loved her.

Luckily for Fred, Wesley understood and was right with her with her fight. He poured over every book that he could find searching for a mystical cure. Fred prayed that soon they would find one, they weren't able to find one for Cordelia but maybe they would now.

She turned around when she heard the door open silently. Smiling at Angel as he stepped into the room.

"How's the patient today." Angel tried to sound chipper even though his heart broke just a little more every day. It wasn't fair to have Cordelia in this position, yet alone having someone else he cared about here.

"Same as usual. Have you seen Spike yet?" Fred stood in front of him trying hard to look past the pain she saw in his eyes. If she looked at it she knew she would cry and she couldn't do that now. She had to be strong..

"Yeah, sleeping like the big baby he is. Has he waken up yet?" Angel just stood there trying hard to not look at the figure lying in the bed not more than a few feet away.

"He did for a moment, but I gave him something to make him sleep. That gives you about twenty four hours to come up with an answer for his question." Fred looked him square in the eye and dared him to make a crack about what question.

"I figured, but how do I tell him, that the woman he loves is in such a deep coma, that like Cordy may never wake up from. How do I tell him how to survive and understand something that even I don't. To look on himself, he that has immortality and just watch as she dies." Angel ran his hand through his hair and walked to the window staring out on the city.

"You tell him that we're all here for him. That Dawn is still here and won't leave his side, just as none of us left yours. Use that bond to bring you two closer, you were never friends, and never really enemies or you would have killed each other way before now. You teach each other what it means to have a family that loves you, even if we all are only mortal. To cherish every day and not to waste a single moment, because none of us are truly immortal and yet we all are when our spirits last forever."

Fred stood beside him understanding his pain and confusion. They were family, all of them, even Spike and now including Dawn. They would stick together, it's what they always did. \  
Fred left the room closing the door behind her, knowing that Angel would sit beside for awhile talking to someone who just like Cordy may or may not hear a word that he spoke.

"What am I going to tell him tomorrow, when he wonders how you are and where you are. You know he's going to ask and he's going to fight and throw things. I guess I'll deal with it all tomorrow, what can he do to me anyway, run over my toes with his wheelchair. But undoubtedly he will never leave your side, we'll probably have to put another bed in here too. Knowing Spike he'll want to knock down some walls and make an apartment surrounding you so that he and Dawn could be more comfortable." Smirking at the last statement Angel sat down and pictured his childe trying to get him to give into the idea.

Angel just sat there, looking and listening until it was almost dawn. Sitting up he bent and placed a kiss on a smooth brow, hoping how soon he would be able to look into the face and see it's eyes twinkle and its mouth laugh and talk.

"Good night, Buffy. Pleasant dreams."


End file.
